What are you so mad about? That we still have a government? We still have “traffic lights.” We’re sorry. The government’s not… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
“We owe Clint Eastwood a debt of thanks. Not only because it was truly a hilarious twelve minutes of improvised "awesome" in… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Donald Rumsfeld. Love him or hate him, you've gotta admit: a lot of people hate him. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
If the president is the head of the American body politic, Congress is its gastrointestinal tract. Its vast and convoluted inner workings… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Nobody cares that Mitt Romney is rich. It's Romney's inability to understand the institutional advantage that he gains from the government’s tax… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Fox opposes a Syria peace plan because its modus operandi is to foment dissent in the form of a relentless and irrational… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I feel much more strongly about the abdication of responsibility by the media than by political advocates. They're representing a constituency. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You wonder sometimes how our government puts on its pants in the morning. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
If I was to really get at the burr in my saddle, it's not politics - and this is, I think, probably… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
If someone was to introduce hope and idealism into our political system, I think the tension that would create in other areas… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The frustration of our [The Daily] show is- very much outside any parameters of the media or the government. We don't have… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The government should stop meddling in the business of the farmers, who would actually still be living ina desert if not for… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The country's 24 hour political pundit perpetual panic conflictinator did not cause our problems but its existence makes solving them that much… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty! — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image