INFALAPSARIAN, n. One who ventures to believe that Adam need not have sinned unless he had a mind to - in opposition… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
HOMILETICS, n. The science of adapting sermons to the spiritual needs, capacities and conditions of the congregation. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Economy, n. Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
What this country needs what every country needs occasionally is a good hard bloody war to revive the vice of patriotism on… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMPROVIDENCE, n. Provision for the needs of to-day from the revenues of to-morrow. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
MONUMENT, n. A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
