He invented Kung Fu when translated to English means method by which short, bald guys can kick the bejeezus out of you. — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
Enchantment and seduction were fine means of persuasion, but when time is short, an awkward but quick concussion could better serve a… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
Advice, then, young yeoman: When referring to the king's middle daughter, state that she is fair, speculate that she is pious, but… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
Just because he was pretty didn't mean he couldn't be improved by a smack upside the head with a piece of earnest… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
Do we still have to floss?" Tommy asked. "I mean, what's the point of being immortal if we have to floss? — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Love them all," said Renoir. "That is the secret, young man. Love them all." The painter let go of his arm and shrugged. "Then,… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“I tried cutting myself to express my heartbreak over Tommy (Lord Flood) rejecting me, but OMFG it hurts like flaming fuck.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place. — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“I hope you are not here to ask me to do my bawdy business- the monkey has a nosebleed and the circus, sir, is… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“The night was crisp and the stars shone with a cold blue light like loneliness or infinity.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Abby Von Normal - And I'm like, "Don't change the subject, Kung Pao, what I want to know is if you're ready to spend… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“You can't just go around blurting out the truth like a prophet with Tourette's syndrome.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“…turning your ankle hurts like hell, even if you're a superhero.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
