“Excessive masturbation is a sign that you are routinely in a high electromagnetic interference (EMI) environment.” — Steven Magee Copy Share Image
“You cannot blame porn. When I was young, I used to masturbate to Gilligan's Island.” — Ron Jeremy Copy Share Image
“Procrastination is like masturbation: it's fun for awhile, but in the end, you're only screwing yourself.” — Lauren Kunze Copy Share Image
“At the end of the day, I was still a virgin, all alone in a dark room, humping a lubed-up robot.” — Ernest Cline Copy Share Image
“En ting er fagkyndig analyse, en annen ting kvaksalveranalyse og onaniterapi.” — Harald Schjelderup Copy Share Image
“Masturbation is pleasure without cost. So how might you make people pay?” — Christopher S. Hyatt Copy Share Image
“I just want mind-boggling sex tonight, but I don’t think you can beat my vibrator.” — Anna Bayes Copy Share Image
Masturbation is not the happiest form of sexuality, but the most advisable for him who wants to be alone and think. — Robert Anton Wilson Copy Share Image
Instead of being a well-known painter, I became everybody's favorite dirty joke. Come to think of it, teaching masturbation skills is pretty… — Betty Dodson Copy Share Image
Masturbation is a meditation on self-love. So many of us are afflicted with self-loathing, bad body images, shame about our body functions,… — Betty Dodson Copy Share Image
Masturbation is not only an expression of self-regard: it is also the natural emotional outlet of those who...have already accepted as inevitable… — Quentin Crisp Copy Share Image
“If my penis were big enough to be mistaken for a leg, I am not sure I'd want the world to know.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“For most men, at the very least, sex is a daily deal. Men need to come. If they aren’t doing it with… — Nikki Sex Copy Share Image
In the early days all I hoped was to make a living out of what I did best. But, since there's no… — Les Claypool Copy Share Image
Somewhere, there's someone who's masturbation ritual ends with them setting up ventriloquist dummies facing the bed. I mean, someone else. — Dana Gould Copy Share Image
My words, my writing, my actions—these have never been for myself alone, either directly or indirectly. There is no such thing as… — Pramoedya Ananta Toer Copy Share Image
“Pornography, in my opinion, has been much misunderstood, for it doesn't develop sex fiends and send them roaming alleyways - it is… — Truman Capote Copy Share Image
So often, over the course of our day-to-days, we forget the details of what shapes us most in life. Sure, we'll pay… — Kevin Smith Copy Share Image
Removed from its more restrictive sense, masturbation has become an expression for everything that has proved, for lack of human contact, to… — Gunter Grass Copy Share Image
Admittedly, the masturbation story is just a "Hey, this is one of my best-of's, I'll throw it in the special." But the… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
“Whether you studied sexology or not, nobody will teach you how to screw, nobody will point to your vagina and say, hey… — Michael Bassey Johnson Copy Share Image
Prostitution reinforces all the old dumb clichés about women's sexuality; that they are not built to enjoy sex and are little more… — Julie Burchill Copy Share Image
“...Don't tell me he's bisexual! Don't tell me this is more of the guy in the hallway! Don't tell me he wants… — Philip Roth Copy Share Image
“Next time she’d have to ask him to keep the light on while he did it, so she could watch his face.… — Tom Perrotta Copy Share Image
I thought the whole masturbation thing was really odd and really weird. — Lynndie England Copy Share Image
Contempt for others, like masturbation, is best as a secret pleasure. — Mason Cooley Copy Share Image
“The universe has an itch, and I have been called upon to scratch it.” — James Halat Copy Share Image
“It’s still masturbation if your clone gives you a hand job. It’s also a lot like being a member of Congress.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
Life is full of important decisions like whether or not you got time to masturbate. — Peter Griffin Copy Share Image
It’s disgusting. On trains, the number of those people doing that strange masturbation-like gesture is multiplying. — Hayao Miyazaki Copy Share Image
Above all others I pity the homeless: where can they go to masturbate? — Robert Clark Copy Share Image
Everyone thinks their whole life should be at least as much fun as masturbation. — Chuck Palahniuk Copy Share Image
