Masturbation Quotes

I thought the whole masturbation thing was really odd and really weird.

— Lynndie England

I think that at a certain age, say fifteen or sixteen, poetry is like masturbation. But later in life good poets burn…

— Umberto Eco

I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love, and I have to use the self service pump.

— Anonymous

Writing is like a mental masturbation to me.

— Anonymous

“Male masturbation is not a release, it is a squandering. Anyone who begins to no-fap will soon discover this. Like most things,…

— Jack Freestone

Somewhere, there's someone who's masturbation ritual ends with them setting up ventriloquist dummies facing the bed. I mean, someone else.

— Dana Gould

“Masturbation is not the happiest form of sexuality, but the most advisable for him who wants to be alone and think. I…

— Robert Anton Wilson

The piano bar is the gateway to the halls of masturbation.

— Henry Miller

“En ting er fagkyndig analyse, en annen ting kvaksalveranalyse og onaniterapi.”

— Harald Schjelderup

What was said about him, what the females needed to believe about him, was just oral masturbation for mouths that needed to…

— J.R. Ward

Masturbation is good for the right arm.

— Daron Malakian

Masturbation is great for the right arm

— Daron Malakian

Masturbation is an absolutely peerless cure for the hiccups

— Inga Muscio

“A writer should be able to open a window or two for others to see the world and themselves in a new…

— Barista Uno

“Remember how it felt yesterday? What you saw me do?” I snorted and grinned. “Man, do I ever. I remembered twice last…

— Missy Welsh

Well, one thing you can say for masturbation... you certainly don't have to look your best.

— Mart Crowley

Masturbation is not physically necessary. There is already a way by which the male system relieves excessive spermatic fluid quite regularly through…

— Spencer W. Kimball

[On masturbation:] I think that it is part of human sexuality, and perhaps it should be taught.

— Joycelyn Elders

My friends keep telling me I'm doing it with Mary Palmer. That's not true - I'm too busy masturbating to meet anyone…

— Roddy Piper

I can imagine you touching my private parts. With just the thought of you I can't help, but touch myself.

— Toni Braxton

“Alas, it was in vain that I implored the dungeon-keep of Roussainville, that I begged it to send out to meet me…

— Marcel Proust

The masturbation myth is absolutely responsible for more unwanted pregnancies and diseases than anything else on the planet earth. During the middle…

— Johnny Luckett

“I just want mind-boggling sex tonight, but I don’t think you can beat my vibrator.”

— Anna Bayes

“Masturbation and meditation both promote physical and mental wellbeing.”

— Abhijit Naskar

Disco boy, no one understands, but thank the lord you still got hands.

— Frank Zappa