Masturbation Quotes · Page 6

Above all others I pity the homeless: where can they go to masturbate?

— Robert Clark

When the sex war is won prostitutes should be shot as collaborators for their terrible betrayal of all women.

— Julie Burchill

Contempt for others, like masturbation, is best as a secret pleasure.

— Mason Cooley

Women have it good when it comes to masturbation. Guys, we just have our hands. For the rest of our lives, that's…

— Jay Mohr

“The universe has an itch, and I have been called upon to scratch it.”

— James Halat

When you wake up and your heart is going like the clappers or your back feels strained, or you develop some other…

— John Lennon

Call you up in the middle of the night. It's awful hard trying to make love long distance, but I really need…

— Billy Joel

Masturbation is the thinking man's television.

— Christopher Hampton

In masturbation there is nothing but loss.

— D. H. Lawrence

The whole point is you're telling a story to an audience. So when there's no audience, it's like cinematic masturbation.

— Mick Garris

If a director says he doesn't care how many people see his films at all, I simply don't believe him. Otherwise why…

— Michael Haneke

Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you're the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing…

— Bob Saget

If I want low-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate. If I want high-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate again.

— Dennis Miller

A remedy [for masturbation] which is almost always successful in small boys is circumcision, especially when there is any degree of phimosis.…

— John Harvey Kellogg

“For the most expensive way to realize an orgasm, men open their wallets. For the cheapest, they close their eyes.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

My mother never talked about sex. I was on the Dr. Ruth [ Westheimer] show once - this is years and years…

— Judy Blume

I'm a promoter of masturbation. Don't sleep around...learn yourself first! Guys do it, but girls don't. They should.

— Taylor Momsen

“After discovering him in his threesome, I spent the next two weeks in bed suffering from a severe case of vagina elbow.…

— Chelsea Handler

I never did like working out - it bears the same relationship to real sport as masturbation does to real sex.

— David Lodge

It is called in our schools 'beastliness', and this is about the best name for it... should it become a habit it…

— Robert Baden-Powell

Wrap the turkey up In aluminum foil My brother likes to masturbate With baby oil.

— Adam Sandler

I also believe in cigarettes, cholesterol, alcohol, carbon monoxide, masturbation, the Arts Council, nuclear weapons, the Daily Telegraph, and not properly labeling…

— Dennis Potter

I think that there's nothing wrong with masturbation. If you're not feeling good about your own sexuality and your own body, you're…

— Hugh Hefner

[Norman Mailer] is against masturbation, he's against homosexuality. He believes that murder is essentially sexual. I think he's rather an anthology of…

— Gore Vidal

“Reality is in the hand of the masturbator.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana