I love Los Angeles. I love when people make fun of it. I think, 'Good, don't come.' All the jokes about it… — Mary McCormack Copy Share Image
You listen to any monologue on late-night TV or just in general, to people talking, and there's always a joke at someone's… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I've had jokes stolen a thousand times. But if you can do it better than me, you can have it. I've had… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
a short cut to matrimonial unhappiness is not to have the same taste in jokes! — Margaret Deland Copy Share Image
A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good… — Jenny Eclair Copy Share Image
And there'd be no more jokes in Music-halls To mock the riddled corpses round Bapaume. — Siegfried Sassoon Copy Share Image
If you want something to be done you got to do it for yourself is not an excuse to master bate some… — Mathew Brakett Copy Share Image
Any so-called leader who does not take this issue (climate change) seriously or treats it like a joke is not fit to… — Barack Obama Copy Share Image
We need to get rid of the Federal Elections Commission. It's a joke. It doesn't enforce the law. — Russ Feingold Copy Share Image
The cheesecake was smooth and lush, with the personality of a warm and well-to-do uncle who knows a hundred dirty jokes and… — Don DeLillo Copy Share Image
I don't get up, get dressed, go out, and think, 'Okay, I gotta find eight jokes.' — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I always wanted to strip. I'm sort of one of those people who would walk past a strip club and while everybody… — Diablo Cody Copy Share Image
I try my jokes onstage. The only way to really find out if something is going to work is to try it… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
Now, what does a vampire do with a computer? Keep track of investments? Send e-mail to other vampires as you all plot… — Carrie Vaughn Copy Share Image
Why would you want to work for a living if you could just joke around? Being a celebrity expands your commercial possibilities. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I got a pit bull from a shelter, so my whole life is centered on this dog, and I've been writing a… — Joe Mande Copy Share Image
Pardew has come out and criticized me. He is the worst at haranguing referees. He shoves them and makes a joke of… — Alex Ferguson Copy Share Image
I felt as if I was the brunt of some massive joke at my expense: Can you believe this loser can be… — Kevin Bacon Copy Share Image
Everything you see comes from inside. People don't see it but inside the dressing room we laugh and joke a lot so… — Luis Suarez Copy Share Image
My general approach to writing fiction is that you try to have as few conceptual notions as possible and you just respond… — George Saunders Copy Share Image
