What remains of your past if you didn't allow yourself to feel it when it happened? If you don't have your experiences… — David Rakoff Copy Share Image
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him. — Jokes About Chuck Norris Copy Share Image
A husband and his wife agreed that anytime they want to have sex they will call it a phone call so that… — Zak Copy Share Image
If you live right, death is a joke to you as far as fear is concerned. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Raphael continued to stare at me, in no hurry to get started. "You know the best way to get rid of a… — Alexandra Adornetto Copy Share Image
A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, big or small, young or old. He doesn't care if you're not smart,… — Louis Sabin Copy Share Image
The only reason Woodstock was necessary is because they didn't have iTunes. — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
I'm not a big one for jokes. I can't tell a joke, believe it or not. If you gave me a thousand… — Don Rickles Copy Share Image
My life, my life, now I speak of it as of something over, now as of a joke which still goes on,… — Samuel Beckett Copy Share Image
You are just jealous," Magnus remarked calmly. "Because you do not have the soul of a true artiste like myself." "Oh, I… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
One starts gambling for a joke, out of curiosity, as a little challenge to fortune. One goes on, pricked to the quick… — Matilde Serao Copy Share Image
I think I have a good sense of humor, but I'm not, like, a joke-teller. I get the jokes, which is sometimes… — Mila Kunis Copy Share Image
6 am: tired 9 am: tired 11 am: tired 3 pm: tired 5 pm: tired 7 pm: tired 9 pm: tired bed time: ENNNNEERRGGYY — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
If you dont come home and immediately either take off your pants or change into pajamas then Im sorry but youre living… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I was born in Alabama. I was raised in Georgia. I'm so Southern I'm related to myself. I have a 12-year-old daughter.… — Brett Butler Copy Share Image
“The least we each ought to do for someone who treats us like a king or a queen is to treat them… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
The preacher who jests and jokes with his people all week will soon find that he cannot stand in his pulpit on… — Vance Havner Copy Share Image
“Jokes are hilarious only when you take them unreal and dreamlike, otherwise it becomes painful. So I always live otherworldly...” — Saket Assertive Copy Share Image
Have you considered the option of getting the joke? If not, try it now and redeem your soul. — Erik Naggum Copy Share Image
