God gave us the miracle of life - sustaining water, & we turned it into Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi & Vodka. Good job, Morons. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Life Insurance: A contract that leaves you poor while you live so you can die rich. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the MILKMAN says, Do you want it in the front or the back? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. Like this Bible. It cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm the only man who has a marriage license made out To Whom It My Concern . — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I texted my girlfriend a picture of my flaccid penis. I just wanted to let her know I was thinking about her. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I wish my wife would blow me as much as she blows little things out of proportion. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I was walking around with my GF when she started playing a Bieber song on cell & now there's vomit all over… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Some people's noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men are simple creatures. 99% of their problems can be solved with sex, sandwiches, or both. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece: Gently aging, but still a warmand desirable place to visit. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain What's His Name? We live… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't wanna discuss about it - People who want to discuss about it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
