Jokes are always better than promises. Because jokes are half meant, while promises are half lies. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My penis should make me breakfast on morning. It is always up before I am. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I feel sorry for those who don't have a sense of humor, imagine the decades they're missing on out. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Girl- How do I look? Boy- I would rather stay blind¦and let the mirror suffer!!!! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You make jokes because you're afraid to take anything seriously, because if you take things seriously, they matter. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A woman never knows what she really wants until she finds out what her husband cannot afford. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That moment when you say something and everyone laughs, so you just sit there like a boss. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I had a lot of bad jobs but the one big internship I had is I interned for 'SNL' when I was… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A doctor says to his patient, I have bad news and worse news. Oh dear, what's the bad news? asks the patient.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If climbing the highest mountain on earth is the only way for him to be mine.. then I'd rather go shopping! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I can't stand people that don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're.' Their so stupid... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Her joke of a name aside, her general unprettiness aside, she was, in terms of permanently memorable, immoderately perceptive, small-area faces, a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Yo mama is so stupid, she got stranded inside Walmart, slept on the floor and starved to death — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't like jokes in speeches. I do like wit and humor. A joke is to humor what pornography is to erotic… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Most interesting line written on the front of T-shirt of a girl, . . . . . . . Excuse me ! My face is above.;-) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You've no idea how good an old joke sounds when you take it out again after a rest of five or six… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried...but they wanted cash. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A despot doesn't fear eloquent writers preaching freedom- he fears a drunken poet who may crack a joke that will take hold. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
An ex-girlfriend from my past told me to see things from a girls point of view, so I looked out the kitchen… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Your mama so fat, I took a picture with her last christmas and it's still printing. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you are sleeping, I hope I am the person that wake you up till you are showing me some saliva that… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives a women wild? No... it's a $100 bill. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When we cant laugh again on the same joke, then why do we cry again and again for the one and the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Man at restaurant: Excuse me waiter,could you come here? WAITER: Is everything okay? MAN: Everything is fine,but would you please try my… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
