Jokes Quotes by Anonymous · Page 4

Husband: Tell me an Interesting fact that will make me happy and sad at the same time. Wife: Yours is bigger than…

— Anonymous

I had the best day ever, I ran into my ex girlfriend and her new boyfriend.......With my car.

— Anonymous

I love paying for wifi at hotels, said no one ever

— Anonymous

I hate became your pillow, you giving me saliva

— Anonymous

Juan called on an FM radio station & said, I've found a wallet with 15,000 pesos & also an ID of a…

— Anonymous

Your mama is so stupid, she kept turning left to avoid the wrong turn sign

— Anonymous

Always laugh heartily at the jokes your boss tells, it maybe a loyalty test.

— Anonymous

Five guys but only 1D ;)

— Anonymous

Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office...I will find you. You have my Word.

— Anonymous

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

— Anonymous

The joke in our family is that we can cry reading the phone book.

— Anonymous

I would eat healthy but remember that 1 time Adam & eve ate an apple in the garden of Eden & doomed…

— Anonymous

Fat people cry on purpose so they can taste their tears.

— Anonymous

Why wear one chain? when you could use 2Chainz LOL

— Anonymous

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked…

— Anonymous

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

— Anonymous

Who ever invented the Knock- Knock jokes should get a No-bell prize!

— Anonymous

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

— Anonymous

All girls are beautiful... Except the ugly ones! :p

— Anonymous

I'm not saying she's fat. I'm just saying if I had to name 5 of the fattest people I know.... She'd be…

— Anonymous

The roses have wilted, The violets are dead, Sugar is lumpy And so is your head.

— Anonymous

What do you call a man with no body and just a nose? Nobody nose.

— Anonymous

Simba was walking too slow, so I told him to Mufasa.

— Anonymous

I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up, because I am still looking for ideas.

— Anonymous

He who laughs last probably didn't get the joke.

— Anonymous

Yo mama so fat jesus couldn't even lift her spirit

— Anonymous

One of the standing jokes of Congress is that the new Congressman always spends the first week wondering how he got there…

— Anonymous

People say Go to Hell like it's a bad thing. I wouldn't mind Hell, it's warm and I know people there.

— Anonymous

Ways to die: steal my food, touch me, look through my phone.

— Anonymous

You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.

— Anonymous

Are we celebrating the fact that Guy Fawkes got caught trying to blow up parliament or he tried to have a go…

— Anonymous

I hate cripple jokes. I can't stand them.

— Anonymous

They played a Chris Brown marathon on the radio station today. It was hit after hit.

— Anonymous

When life gives you lemons, go find a kid with a paper cut and make his life miserable.

— Anonymous

The real reason women live longer than men bcoz they dont have to live with women.

— Anonymous

I did in the bed. I did it on the couch. I did it in the car. Texting is such an obsession.

— Anonymous

If I hear another pancake joke I'm gonna flip.

— Anonymous

Oh, you only live once? I had no idea, please tell me more.

— Anonymous

It's all fun and games, til someone drinks the last beer

— Anonymous

Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? 'Cause she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills.

— Anonymous