If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl. — George Burns Copy Share Image
I smoke cigars because at my age if I don't have something to hang on to I might fall down. — George Burns Copy Share Image
I'd say that about 82 percent of what I write is bad, but don't go by me; I'm as bad a judge… — George Burns Copy Share Image
If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again. — George Burns Copy Share Image
If I paid ten dollars for a cigar, first I'd make love to it, then I'd smoke it. — George Burns Copy Share Image
It's better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don't find success right away. — George Burns Copy Share Image
I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success. — George Burns Copy Share Image
When we played the back end of a horse we always knew that if we worked hard and did a good job… — George Burns Copy Share Image
If I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm… — George Burns Copy Share Image
In those days the best painkiller was ice; it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over… — George Burns Copy Share Image
When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.' — George Burns Copy Share Image
I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast. — George Burns Copy Share Image
Well, anybody can be a straight man if he hears well. You just have to wait for laughs. A straight man just… — George Burns Copy Share Image
I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they… — George Burns Copy Share Image
Dress simply. If you wear a dinner jacket, don't wear anything else on it ... like lunch or dinner. — George Burns Copy Share Image
If I had taken my doctor's advice and quit smoking when he advised me to, I wouldn't have lived to go to… — George Burns Copy Share Image
Everyday happiness means getting up in the morning, and you can't wait to finish your breakfast. You can't wait to do your exercises. You… — George Burns Copy Share Image
Being an actor is easy, just picture someone in a room and you outside waiting for your cue to go in. Elliot Gould's been… — George Burns Copy Share Image
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. — George Burns Copy Share Image
I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody. — George Burns Copy Share Image
What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the… — George Burns Copy Share Image
If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl. — George Burns Copy Share Image
I find you have to take each day as it comes and be thankful for who's left and whatever you can still do. — George Burns Copy Share Image
Take care not to wear stripes that are out of sync with your wrinkles. — George Burns Copy Share Image
By [age] 93, I had shrunk quite a lot. My car was known as the Phantom Cadillac. People would see it whizzing by and… — George Burns Copy Share Image
I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands. — George Burns Copy Share Image
![“By [age] 93, I had shrunk quite a lot. My…” quote by George Burns](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/91b/george-burns-2737_age_by-age-93-i-had-shrunk-quite-a-lot-my-ca_165653.jpg)
