Yale men do not like to be told anything by people who didn't go to Yale. The closest I came to Yale… — George Burns Copy Share Image
I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with… — George Burns Copy Share Image
There will always be a battle between the sexes because men and women want different things. Men want women and women want… — George Burns Copy Share Image
A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night. — George Burns Copy Share Image
Money is the root of all evil.' Then we hear, 'A fool and his money are soon parted.' What are they talking… — George Burns Copy Share Image
Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I… — George Burns Copy Share Image
Well, anybody can be a straight man if he hears well. You just have to wait for laughs. A straight man just… — George Burns Copy Share Image
Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives. — George Burns Copy Share Image
Everyday happiness means getting up in the morning, and you can't wait to finish your breakfast. You can't wait to do your exercises. You… — George Burns Copy Share Image
Being an actor is easy, just picture someone in a room and you outside waiting for your cue to go in. Elliot Gould's been… — George Burns Copy Share Image
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. — George Burns Copy Share Image
I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody. — George Burns Copy Share Image
What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the… — George Burns Copy Share Image
If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl. — George Burns Copy Share Image
I find you have to take each day as it comes and be thankful for who's left and whatever you can still do. — George Burns Copy Share Image
Take care not to wear stripes that are out of sync with your wrinkles. — George Burns Copy Share Image
By [age] 93, I had shrunk quite a lot. My car was known as the Phantom Cadillac. People would see it whizzing by and… — George Burns Copy Share Image
I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands. — George Burns Copy Share Image