I smoke cigars because at my age if I don't have something to hang on to I might fall down. — George Burns Copy Share Image
When they saw me walking down the street smoking a cigar, they'd say, 'Hey, that 14-year-old kid may be going places.' Of… — George Burns Copy Share Image
If I paid ten dollars for a cigar, first I'd make love to it, then I'd smoke it. — George Burns Copy Share Image
In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought… — George Burns Copy Share Image
I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill. — George Burns Copy Share Image
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on… — George Burns Copy Share Image
Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill. — George Burns Copy Share Image
I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they… — George Burns Copy Share Image
If I had taken my doctor's advice and quit smoking when he advised me to, I wouldn't have lived to go to… — George Burns Copy Share Image
Everyday happiness means getting up in the morning, and you can't wait to finish your breakfast. You can't wait to do your exercises. You… — George Burns Copy Share Image
Being an actor is easy, just picture someone in a room and you outside waiting for your cue to go in. Elliot Gould's been… — George Burns Copy Share Image
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. — George Burns Copy Share Image
I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody. — George Burns Copy Share Image
What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the… — George Burns Copy Share Image
If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl. — George Burns Copy Share Image
I find you have to take each day as it comes and be thankful for who's left and whatever you can still do. — George Burns Copy Share Image
Take care not to wear stripes that are out of sync with your wrinkles. — George Burns Copy Share Image
By [age] 93, I had shrunk quite a lot. My car was known as the Phantom Cadillac. People would see it whizzing by and… — George Burns Copy Share Image
I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands. — George Burns Copy Share Image