Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. — George Burns Copy Share Image
By [age] 93, I had shrunk quite a lot. My car was known as the Phantom Cadillac. People would see it whizzing… — George Burns Copy Share Image
Yale men do not like to be told anything by people who didn't go to Yale. The closest I came to Yale… — George Burns Copy Share Image
I don't worry about getting old. I'm old already. Only young people worry about getting old. — George Burns Copy Share Image
And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't… — George Burns Copy Share Image
People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit. — George Burns Copy Share Image
Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember… — George Burns Copy Share Image
In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought… — George Burns Copy Share Image
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair. — George Burns Copy Share Image
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. — George Burns Copy Share Image
People are always asking me how much I'm worth. Well, all I can say is, I've got enough money to last me… — George Burns Copy Share Image
Lots of people have asked me what Gracie and I did to make our marriage work. It's simple - we don't do… — George Burns Copy Share Image
I thought to myself, 'why not write a bestseller?' In the first place, more people buy them and more people read them.… — George Burns Copy Share Image
The happiest people I know are the ones that are still working. The saddest are the ones who are retired. Very few… — George Burns Copy Share Image
I don't worry about getting old. I'm old already. Only young people worry about getting old. When I was 65, I had… — George Burns Copy Share Image
I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet… — George Burns Copy Share Image
People are always asking me when I'm going to retire. Why should I? I've got it two ways - I'm still making… — George Burns Copy Share Image
If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age. — George Burns Copy Share Image
Everyday happiness means getting up in the morning, and you can't wait to finish your breakfast. You can't wait to do your exercises. You… — George Burns Copy Share Image
Being an actor is easy, just picture someone in a room and you outside waiting for your cue to go in. Elliot Gould's been… — George Burns Copy Share Image
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. — George Burns Copy Share Image
I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody. — George Burns Copy Share Image
What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the… — George Burns Copy Share Image
If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl. — George Burns Copy Share Image
I find you have to take each day as it comes and be thankful for who's left and whatever you can still do. — George Burns Copy Share Image
Take care not to wear stripes that are out of sync with your wrinkles. — George Burns Copy Share Image
By [age] 93, I had shrunk quite a lot. My car was known as the Phantom Cadillac. People would see it whizzing by and… — George Burns Copy Share Image
I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands. — George Burns Copy Share Image