Humorous Quotes by Austin O'Malley

Sermons are like pie-crust, the shorter the better.

— Austin O'Malley

You can swim in life and seawater, but both are hard to swallow.

— Austin O'Malley

Law is the rudder of the ship of state.

— Austin O'Malley

A woman, like a cross-eyed man, looks one way, but goes another--hence her mysteriousness.

— Austin O'Malley

Religion often gets credit for curing rascals when old age is the real medicine.

— Austin O'Malley

Charity is the note that resolves the discord.

— Austin O'Malley

We must be laid like a brand in the fire ... if we would gain immortal youth.

— Austin O'Malley

If you snub Conscience a few times she will cut your acquaintance.

— Austin O'Malley

A hole is nothing at all, but you can break your neck in it.

— Austin O'Malley

A drunkard is like a whiskey-bottle, all neck and belly and no head.

— Austin O'Malley

Power should answer by action, not by speech.

— Austin O'Malley

Charity is the only lubricant that keeps the axle of the world creaking.

— Austin O'Malley