Why not try thinking of your life as hilarious rather than nightmarish? — Julia Sweeney Copy Share Image
One person I haven't worked with yet, who I find hilarious, is Chad Coleman. — Josh McDermitt Copy Share Image
“I couldn't make it in a chicken world, sir, so I hit the road in search of something better.” — John A. Heldt Copy Share Image
“No way, that would kill my diet for the week. I don't know how you can stand to eat so unhealthy, Quinn.… — Stephanie Campbell Copy Share Image
“Thats what happens to Snow in Texas, lady. It freaking MELTS!!" Leo Valdez- The Lost Hero” — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
“Give it up, mister! No sex for you!" I yelled at the wall as my girls cackled maniacally. "Tons of sex for… — Alice Clayton Copy Share Image
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
“He asked what she was in for and complimented the find workmanship of her metal extremities, but she ignored him, making him… — Marissa Meyer Copy Share Image
Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Some disabled people spend a significant amount of their energy on trying to come across as abled or as not that disabled.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“If you've ever been there, you've never forgotten. The feeling is as haunting and familiar as the smell of a junior high… — Frank Peretti Copy Share Image
“I have to go. Boss has this weird idea that I should actually work while he’s paying me.” — Laurie Halse Anderson Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you finish watching a TV series and you dont know what to do with your life anymore. — Ridwan Oladapo Copy Share Image
The prospects for a coherent, hilarious and consistent American comedy seem to lessen every year, as the poor waterlogged, gassy corpse called… — Stephen Hunter Copy Share Image
“You Sure this is it?" I said. "It looks empty." "Empty? No way, there's loads of shit in there," worm replied” — Ransom Riggs Copy Share Image
Psychiatry is a pseudoscience.... You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do...Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, you don't even -you're… — Tom Cruise Copy Share Image
“No. No way. That name is reserved for females with grace and elegance, not this girl. This girl is...beastly.” — Victoria Scott Copy Share Image
I'll be honest, I felt an urge to squeeze him like a kitten and that led to the gesture I made. There… — Vladimir Putin Copy Share Image
