The secret to life is not giving a shit......That's what a homeless guy once told me. — Francisco Quinonez Copy Share Image
I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Zach Galifianakis is hilarious. I worked with him on a pilot before; he's hilarious and such a nice person. — Zachary Gordon Copy Share Image
It was a typically British birth... I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward... I came… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
The heroines in 'That's What She Said' are flawed, messy, damaged, hilarious and culpable and not really concerned about being acceptable to… — Carrie Preston Copy Share Image
“No," Nathan grumbled. "Like, not piss on him, just all around him." Stuart raised an eyebrow. "Nath, you need to chill. We're… — Melanie Tushmore Copy Share Image
I'm big on facial expressions, and I'm big on mannerisms, which I find to be hilarious. — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
“Chubi, rhymes with booby, which you don't have, or doodie, which your face looks like," she said smugly, leaning back and making… — Kim Harrison Copy Share Image
By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong. — Charles Wadsworth Copy Share Image
“Orlando had a Pinto, a car that hadn't been in existence for thirty-plus years. He still hadn't figured out why a strong,… — Rose Wynters Copy Share Image
Crack is cheap. I make too much money to ever smoke crack. Let's get that straight. OK? We don't do crack. We… — Whitney Houston Copy Share Image
I think it's hilarious that you would give an endorsement deal to someone who you've heard their lyrics a million times and… — Lamorne Morris Copy Share Image
I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint... it was in a shape of a house. I… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“We seldom look up to the person; we usually look up to their persona.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Now airlines charge for everything... If the oxygen mask drops, you have to swipe your credit card to start the flow of… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
If mini skirts today get any shorter... women will have two more lips to paint, two more cheeks to powder, and a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I don't know,' he said irritably. 'Is it meant to improve you?' She swiveled toward him, eyes wide with shock. 'Because nothing… — Julie Anne Long Copy Share Image
“Because he has finally realized that it is it and not him that is loved by the woman he loves, many a… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“The alien in my uncle hand obviously taken full control. Soon, it would claw its way out of his stomach and tap… — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
“He was still thoughtful. 'Do you think any of us ever really knows anyone?' 'Philosophy, Lord Dryden? And yet it's daylight and… — Julie Anne Long Copy Share Image
