Arnold Palmer is the biggest crowd pleaser since the invention of the portable sanitary facility. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants to play through, let him. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Golf is my real profession. Entertainment is just a sideline. I tell jokes to pay my greens fees. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn't know they had a caddie division. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
I once showed Pat Bradley my swing and said, 'What do I do next?' Pat replied, 'Wait till the pain dies down.' — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
My old friend Jack Benny has only had one ball all his golfing life. And now he's lost it. The string came… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Foursomes have left the first tee there and have never been seen again. They just find their shoelaces and bags. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
I've been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Golf's really fun in Japan because of the women caddies. ... I saw one guy start out playing alone with his caddie.… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
We have 51 golf courses in Palm Springs. He [President Ford] never decides which course he will play until after the first… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn't understand us at all. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you. In Hollywood the weatherman gets a shooting schedule from all the… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn't be surprised if their wrestling was on the level. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
