I've been playing golf a long time, although it's not really true that on my first round they strapped my bag on… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn't understand us at all. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you. In Hollywood the weatherman gets a shooting schedule from all the… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Go figure a crazy, mixed-up country where ballet outsells boxing. I wouldn't be surprised if their wrestling was on the level. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
