What is the story with the airport sinks, that they will not give us a twist-on twist-off human faucet. "Is it that… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
So the first time you hear the concept of Halloween when you're a kid your brain can't even process the information. You're… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You're telling the world, 'I give up. I can't… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
The only way a show works is you find people who you think are qualified and talented and you give them a… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they’re killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? 'Sweetheart,… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I have a friend who's collecting unemployment insurance. This guy has never worked so hard in his life as he has to… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I mean, she's giving and caring and genuinely concerned about the welfare of others. I can't be with someone like that. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
We’re all trying to get to the same island, whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive in, it doesn’t matter. What matters is when… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
We're all trying to get to the same island — whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive, it doesn't matter. What matters is when… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication...Not easy. There's an entire wall of products you need.… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I went up to the camp and Paul had me eat my first oyster I had never had an oyster in my life. And… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Then, finally, the third year, begging the parents, I got the Superman Halloween costume. Cardboard box, self-made top, mask included. Remember the rubber band… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
This is really a crazy idea, you know. It probably won't work, but that will be interesting, too. You have to motivate yourself with… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
If you get something right, you really feel it, right in your chest, on stage. I think it's an incomparable experience. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
![“We’re all trying to get to the same island, whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive in, it doesn’t matter. What matters is when the red light [camera] comes on.” quote by Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/7d3/jerry-seinfeld-880_cameras_we-re-all-trying-to-get-to-the-same-isla_42545.jpg)
