Whatever you do in life, always give 100%...unless you're donating blood... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the HAIRDRESSER says, Do you want it teased or blown? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you say you're in a bad place, and everything is coming your way, then chances are you're a woman, and you're… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you put your hand up to give someone a high five but they walk right past you leaving… — Me Copy Share Image
Not trying to be rude, but your dick gets less action then a white crayon. — Cuts And Scars Copy Share Image
People be drop outta school, get a job at McDonald's, and be all like I'm grinding ...On my grind ...yeah Grind me… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not saying she's a slut, but I tried to put her name as my password and it said 'Error: too easy.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes I get my wife and my GPS mixed up...they both tell me what to do every 30 feet. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
SOCIALISM: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Liking ur own status on face book is like giving urself a high five in real life. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm the kind of friend who will help you hide a dead body, but if you betray me, just remember... I KNOW… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hey I just met you, & this is crazy. But I'm on bath salts. You're face looks tasty! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Your opinion is about as relevant as Vanilla Ice in 2012. If you still wear FUBU don't tell me how to dress,… — Brian Zilinek Copy Share Image
You're so much better than A-Rod at concealing your drug use on the job. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Men were born between a woman's legs and spend the rest of their lives trying to get back in them. There's no… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Voice Command : Please say a command Me : Suck My Dick Voice Command: Command Not Recognized, Please Try Again — Chad Robinson Copy Share Image
In a nerd wedding, instead of saying 'I do.' They say, 'I accept the terms and conditions.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Honesty is the best policy. Unless, of course, you're posting a Facebook Profile picture. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Everybody out here getting pregnant and having babies that shit must be contagious — Bigboyalweezy Copy Share Image
Actual warning printed on the bottom of a package of Tesco's Tiramisu dessert : Do not turn upside down. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
