Have you ever thought about toothpaste? Ellen has! And she makes a point about all of the types of toothpaste that Colgate… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Normally, I try not to pay attention to my haters, but this time I'd like to talk about it, because my haters… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I don't want to get the same looks I give people when they get on a plane holding a baby: "That's a… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
No matter how popular you are as a stand-up - you can go out and fill a 10,000-seat arena and be smart… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I had everything I'd hoped for, but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I don't want to take a pill. Go to Africa, go follow some bushman around. He's being chased by a lion. That's… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
The good psychic would pick up the phone before it rang. Of course it is possible there was noone on the other… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I didn't go to college at all, any college, and I'm not saying you wasted your time or money, but look at… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now, and we don't know where the hell she is. — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
The way I see it... If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you're doing, then your brain should… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
That woman in the shampoo commercial - she's happy. She's... she's too happy. — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I wanted to have money; I wanted to be special; I wanted people to like me; I wanted to be famous. — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I think what saved me is me being honest. I think I somewhow had the courage to do something and say something that I… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I think there's too much mult-tasking going on. I think people need to quiet down and focus and be still more. — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
We can sit and worry about what's going to happen to us two weeks from now. I'd rather focus on the amazing things happening… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
It's our challenges and obstacles that give us layers of depth and make us interesting. Are they fun when they happen? No. But they… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I had done a sitcom and a movie and hosted the Emmys, and all of a sudden, I lost everything. As someone put it… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yourself. — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Save a life this Thanksgiving, and join me in starting a new tradition by adopting a turkey instead of eating one through Farm Sanctuary's… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Answers to Frequently Asked Questions: Yes. Yes. No. One time in high school. Three times in my twenties. Rocks no salt. Yes. Four. Never.… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Actually this is really funny - one time she accidentally forgot to leave a note and I had no idea she had even moved.… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
A circus! 100 clowns of injustice have climbed out of the tiny clown car of this court room. — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Gratitude is looking on the brighter side of the life, even if it means hurting your eyes. — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
