There would be nothing to get me to run for president. I don't even understand how anyone would want that job at… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I think we need more love in the world. We need more kindness, more compassion, more joy, more laughter. I definitely want… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I don't know what people are scared of...maybe they think their children will be influenced by gay marriage, but I've got to… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Everybody always resolves to start exercising, but they never do. You know why ? Because it's January. Who wants to go jogging… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
We need more kindness, more compassion, more joy, more laughter. I definitely want to contribute to that. — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
If you want to test cosmetics, why do it on some poor animal who hasn't done anything? They should use prisoners who… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
The world is filled with negativity. I want people to watch me and think, “I feel good, and I’m going to make… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
You talk to some people who are opposed to same sex marriage, and they'll say, 'If we allow that, what's next? Will… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I think I let go of the need for approval. It certainly feels good when you get it, but I used to… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Honestly, we'd probably be great parents. But it's a human being, and unless you think you have excellent skills and have a… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
If you want to get rid of stuff, you can always do a good spring-cleaning. Or you can do what I do.… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Here are the values that I stand for: honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you want to be treated and… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
When I was younger I thought success was something different. I thought, " When I grow up, I want to be famous.… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
If we're destroying our trees and destroying our environment and hurting animals and hurting one another and all that stuff, there's got… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
If we don’t want to define ourselves by things as superficial as our appearances, we’re stuck with the revolting alternative of being… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Sometimes when I am driving I get so angry at inconsiderate drivers that I want to scream at them. But then I… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I think anybody who wants to be president has to be a politician, but I would like to find somebody who's coming… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I get home at the end of the day and I don't want to talk. All I want to do is lay… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
It is a fundamental right for people to be allowed to love who they want to love and marry who they want… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I don't know who had the bright idea of teaching pneumonia how to walk, but I'd like to find that dunderhead before… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Even before I knew I was gay, I knew I didn't want to have a child. I knew I didn't want to… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I get to do stand-up every single day. I love that live energy exchange between the audience and myself, and to get… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I talked to Beyonce and she wants to learn how to speak Arabic and she wants to jump out of an airplane.… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I wanted to have money; I wanted to be special; I wanted people to like me; I wanted to be famous. — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I think what saved me is me being honest. I think I somewhow had the courage to do something and say something that I… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I think there's too much mult-tasking going on. I think people need to quiet down and focus and be still more. — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
We can sit and worry about what's going to happen to us two weeks from now. I'd rather focus on the amazing things happening… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
It's our challenges and obstacles that give us layers of depth and make us interesting. Are they fun when they happen? No. But they… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I had done a sitcom and a movie and hosted the Emmys, and all of a sudden, I lost everything. As someone put it… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yourself. — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Save a life this Thanksgiving, and join me in starting a new tradition by adopting a turkey instead of eating one through Farm Sanctuary's… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Answers to Frequently Asked Questions: Yes. Yes. No. One time in high school. Three times in my twenties. Rocks no salt. Yes. Four. Never.… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Actually this is really funny - one time she accidentally forgot to leave a note and I had no idea she had even moved.… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
A circus! 100 clowns of injustice have climbed out of the tiny clown car of this court room. — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Gratitude is looking on the brighter side of the life, even if it means hurting your eyes. — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
