I can't wait to spend Monday doing nothing on a beach instead of doing nothing at work. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you pretend die infront of your pet and they dont move. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This is one of those mornings where I'll be picking the marshmallows out of the Lucky Charms and throwing the rest away. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Q: What's your opinion on long distance relationships? A: Honestly, I know a lot of the time they don't really work out… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My bed and I have a special relationship, we're perfect for each other. But my alarm clock just hates seeing us together. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I knew my mother had it in for me from a young age. My bath toys were an electric toaster and hair-dryer. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think car horns should sound like gun shots....I bet you'll move then. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Tip for losing weight: Turn your head left, then turn right. Repeat every time you are asked to eat....lol — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you fall head over heels in love, you must land on your head and become stupid in love because you never… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Seeing beach residents refuse to evacuate makes me feel better about the array of terrible decisions I've made this year. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When a friend asks, do you have a bathroom? Me, no we shit in the yard!!! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I should get a college art credit for the masterpieces I have drawn on my passed out roommates. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I was lying on my bed last night, watching stars and endless horizons. Then I realized, where the hell is my roof? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Im not clumsy. Its just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the wall gets in the way. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
