Practicing your signature over & over again, just in case one day you become famous. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
America hasn't seen lazy yet, wait until McDonalds start delivering. — Jaylon Hillsman Copy Share Image
DO NOT expect a 'Bless You' after your 5th sneeze get that shit under fucking control. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
As the auto mechanic said to the Scoutmaster whose car horn was broken, Beep repaired. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know you're on your period when everyone around you has an attitude problem. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you take a shower in the middle of the day, and you don't know whether to put on… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I rather tell the truth and have people hate me than tell lies and have people love me. -Just Saying — Ephrem Hardin Copy Share Image
Can you please tell me the logic excuses, you talked like this world is huge. Have u heard this what a small… — Diana Yan Manan Copy Share Image
If I can combine all your facebook status, I can have a nice Horror, comedy, drama sci-fi movie in one day.. — Simphiwe Scientist Copy Share Image
You can block me on Facebook but I know you cant block out the memories of me and you together in your… — Leah Copy Share Image
Because of Facebook I have failing grades, insomnia & I'm slowly beginning to see the fake in people as the days go by. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If the professor doesn't show up to class in the first 15 minutes, you get to leave. Somebody make that a law, please. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Million dollar idea for a sci-fic movie: A world just like ours but with one key difference. When your phone dies, YOU… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Texting me with a signature, just got you added to the block list. Have a nice day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There's always that person whom you wish their status was about you. — Punkinhead Abhishek Copy Share Image
Choose your Facebook profile pic carefully. It'll be the one they use when you go missing. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
One of the great mysteries of life is how a man can leave his car keys in the refrigerator. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I can't believe it's 2012 and there is still no fold button on my dryer. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you tickle my feet I am not responsible for what happens to your face. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My silence does not means I forgot..the mountain is silent but have volcano inside!! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I said What did I do this time? I really meant What did you catch me doing? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Facebook is free too bad the phone there coming out with is but it isn't. — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
Girls spend hours deciding what to wear, and all guys do is try to picture us naked. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I was kid, werewolves and vampires were scary. Now everyone wants to date them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Walmart usually uses 4 checkouts, unless it's really busy then they use 1. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A detective on the drug detail developed seizures. He is a narcoleptic. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Admit it, you have that one voice that you only use on animals and babies. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
