Let's face it, the human body is like a condominium apartment. The thing that keeps you really enjoying it is the maintenance.… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I'm a big believer than a great bit is a great bit - if I go and see someone I love, like… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I've done a number of Super Bowl ads. And that is the best advertising of the year. That is when people realize… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I am a very organized person. I get up at 6:15 a.m., the kids get up at 6:45 a.m., and so I… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Isn't it weird that we drink milk, stuff designed to nourish baby cows? How did THAT happen? Did some cattleman once say,… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Having done quite a bit with studios and networks, I thought if I'm going to do something new and unformed, it would… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I love how you just make coffee and then somehow something gets done. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
You want to do good things, and once you've done a couple of good things in a row, you think 'Well gee,… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
We’re all trying to get to the same island, whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive in, it doesn’t matter. What matters is when… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
We're all trying to get to the same island — whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive, it doesn't matter. What matters is when… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication...Not easy. There's an entire wall of products you need.… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I went up to the camp and Paul had me eat my first oyster I had never had an oyster in my life. And… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Then, finally, the third year, begging the parents, I got the Superman Halloween costume. Cardboard box, self-made top, mask included. Remember the rubber band… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
This is really a crazy idea, you know. It probably won't work, but that will be interesting, too. You have to motivate yourself with… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
If you get something right, you really feel it, right in your chest, on stage. I think it's an incomparable experience. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image