All across the Middle East in the streets, people are demanding democracy. It's amazing. The only way in America you get people… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Republicans are taking the defeat over Health Care as well as Tiger Woods took to marriage. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Why are we working so hard to preserve Iraq, a fake country to begin with? Why do we care whether this fake… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Attorney General John Ashcroft is in intensive care. He's suffering from a severe case of pancreatitis, which they can't really figure out… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I want to just take a moment to thank the Teabaggers. Thank you so much for helping us pass health care, for… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Emergency rooms will be used the way they were intended to be used: not for primary care, but for when the average… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I find it ironic that Republicans have such disdain for the lazy, and yet their solution to every problem is do nothing.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I’m supposed to be all re-injected with yes-we-can fever after the big health care speech, and it was a great speech -… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I have such disdain for anybody who gets joy out of blowing the stuffing out of a little woodland creature, that I… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The American people don't really care what side of an issue you're on. They just don't want you to act like a… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
