Being cool Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 7

MARRIAGE, HAPPY, a union which is in full flower when the husband knows what to remember and his wife understands what to…

— Nikhil Saluja

Had a weird dream last night that I murdered 4 people who unfollowed me on twitter. But woke up relieved to find…

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, A temporary insanity curable by marriage or the removing of the patient from the influences under which he or she incurred…

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, The continuous process of getting used to things you never expected;

— Nikhil Saluja

Topaz is my birth stone. Tomb is my death stone.

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVER(S), People who never get tired of each other because they are always talking about themselves;

— Nikhil Saluja

Some women need to walk around with a stripper pole to match their outfit.

— Nikhil Saluja

WIFE, Is in trouble with her roles when her husband finds her a whore in the kitchen and a cook in the…

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, Is like measles -- much worse when it comes late in life;

— Nikhil Saluja

Never date a bridge designer. They have truss issues.

— Nikhil Saluja

See it with your own eyes, hear it with your own ears. Think with your own mind and decide with your own…

— Nikhil Saluja

WOMAN, LIBERATED, a female who has sex before marriage and a job after.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, The dawn of romance and the commencement of history;

— Nikhil Saluja

WIFE, WISE, one who makes her husband feel as if he is head of the house when, in reality, he is only…

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, A confrontation which always demands the greatest understanding of the subtle art of insincerity possible between two human beings;

— Nikhil Saluja

KISSING, A method of getting two people so close together that they can't possibly see anything wrong with each other;

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, one in which the husband knows when to remember and a wife knows what to forget;

— Nikhil Saluja

My grandfather died during sex. I still cry when I watch the video.

— Nikhil Saluja

If I was an octopus, I would check my emails while I feed myself while I pick my nose while I masturbate…

— Nikhil Saluja

Almost all serial killers are men. That's 'cause women like to kill one man slowly over many, many years.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, A delightful form of combat where you get to sleep with the enemy;

— Nikhil Saluja

WEAKER SEX: The kind you have after the kids have worn you out.

— Nikhil Saluja

Favstar is nothing but parallel universe for twitter.

— Nikhil Saluja

If I follow you, don't tweet about your boyfriend because I'm your boyfriend until further notice.

— Nikhil Saluja

Alcoholic: A person you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

— Nikhil Saluja