Bartender Quotes by Various

11 Bartender quotes by Various

A handful of different writers each offer a brief line on bartenders, together forming a quick, varied portrait. This short set captures a range of angles without lingering.

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“TV installer walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "You'll be served sometime between”

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“Two jumper cables walk into a bar. The bartender says, "You guys better not start anything in here!”

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“E-flat walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve minors.”

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“in there," and the first guy says, "Watch." In he goes and orders a beer. "Sorry, you can't bring your dog in…

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“bartender walks into a church, a temple and a mosque. He has no idea how jokes”

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“says, "Bartender, I'd like a gin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . and tonic." And the bartender says, "Sure, but what's with the big”

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“French fry walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Hey, could I get a beer please?" The bartender looks at…

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“Julius Caesar walks into a bar. "I'll have a martinus," he says. The bartender gives him a puzzled look and asks, "Don't…

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“seal. ♦◊♦◊♦◊♦ A bartender walks into a church, a temple and a mosque. He has no idea how jokes work. ♦◊♦◊♦◊♦ A…

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“beer?" Descartes replies, "I think not" and poof! he vanishes." ♦◊♦◊♦◊♦ E-flat walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't…

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“Club" replies the seal. ♦◊♦◊♦◊♦ A bartender walks into a church, a temple and a mosque. He has no idea how jokes…

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More by Various

“TV installer walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "You'll be served sometime between”

Various

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“I'll just have a glass of water.”

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“Must the Earth forever be arranged like an ocean steamer, with large, luxurious rooms and luxurious food for a select few, and underneath in…

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“God is worming out His and our adversaries, which He will do by little and little, till they be consumed. The covenant is seasonable.”

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“it is no less since this same Confession of Faith was first subscribed and sworn to. And it has been still in use yearly…

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“sees the Sights, under Perplexing Difficulties. The native borned Gothamite mite have notissed, a short time since, a venerable lookin' ex-Statesman,”

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“What do you call a hundred blondes stacked on top of each other? An air mattress.”

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“Thou wouldst never have chosen Him, if that loving and gracious God had not chosen thee.”

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“Behold, and be awakened; behold, and be excited; behold, and be comforted; behold, and admire; behold, and wonder, that the King of heaven's Son…

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“seal. ♦◊♦◊♦◊♦ A bartender walks into a church, a temple and a mosque. He has no idea how jokes work. ♦◊♦◊♦◊♦ A baseball walks…

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“I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?" "Yeah." "Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I presume you…

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Craig Jones: We ain't got no sugar. Smokey: No sugar? Damn. Y'all ain't never got two things that match. Either y'all got Kool-aid, no…

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