I am not so secretly a comedian. I write a lot of my own…

I consider myself a bit of a comedian. I write a lot of humorous songs.

— Brad Paisley

I'm not a comedy writer, I'm a comedian, so I only write stuff that I would want to say.

— Anthony Jeselnik

I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to…

— Jimmy Carr

When you're in Hollywood and you're a comedian, everybody wants you to do other things. All right, you're a stand-up comedian, can you write…

— Mitch Hedberg

I learned as a young man that I don't write jokes, but that I can deliver more mundane material and get a laugh. I…

— Nick Offerman

Start dating someone who is funny, someone who has what in high school you called a "really great sense of humor" and what now…

— Lorrie Moore

I don't really write jokes down. I tend to have a premise that I work out and test on stage.

— Adam DeVine

When my syndicated show got canceled, the next day I still knew how to write jokes. That was a huge revelation. Because at first…

— Jon Stewart

I did so many open mics. I would write jokes on Twitter constantly, and then slowly, over time, open mics turned into shows. If…

— Michelle Wolf

People don't understand that we're not warriors in their cause. We're a group of people that really feel that they want to write jokes…

— Jon Stewart

I try not to write jokes that are mean. I try my best to write jokes that are pretty universal and jokes that don't…

— Simon Rich

Being able to write jokes is great, but you still have to get used to performing them and being on stage - and enjoying…

— Neal Brennan

I try to write jokes but when I've written about four I run out. Writing my show is a very lonely place.

— Tim Key

I used to go to the library all the time when I was kid. As a teenager, I got a book on how to…

— Drew Carey

You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when it is…

— John Oliver