I would say most comedians have a very cynical worldview…

So instead of talking about theoretical ways of ending the war and violence, I say that we have to get rid of the individual…

— Colin Quinn

You can't make money on Broadway. You make nothing. You maybe make like $1,350 a week after you pay out all the producers.

— Colin Quinn

I think everyone should own six guns, even though I don't own any.

— Colin Quinn

Twitter is one of those dangerous toys that if it gets in the hands of the wrong person you'll have the mind of a…

— Colin Quinn

With comedians, you have that understanding that we're trying to get laughs.

— Colin Quinn

Marie Antoinette was funny, I'm sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the 'Let them eat cake' line. She seems like she was kind…

— Colin Quinn

I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit.

— Colin Quinn

You can't make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.

— Colin Quinn

I love people, I love studying people more than history. So whatever situation I see, then I look at, what were the people like,…

— Colin Quinn

“I think the world honestly would be a much healthier place if instead of trying to find rationalizations for our bad behavior we would…

— Colin Quinn

People say history is boring, and that is true because people are boring. We haven't changed since time began. We're still the same.

— Colin Quinn

The ancient Greeks were the first ones to say an unexamined life is not worth living. They don't tell you of course what we…

— Colin Quinn

People's - most people's job is talking about the future or like money not even in the present tense. It's not even paper.

— Colin Quinn

When I look back now I realize I was such an obnoxious kid but, you know, I went to schools like you, like a…

— Colin Quinn

People say history was written by the winners. No, it wasn't. It was written by the bullies.

— Colin Quinn