Like most Beta Males, he didn't realize that being a good guy was not necessarily an attraction to women. — Christopher Moore Attraction Copy Share Image
“Splendid. I believe we've achieved a whole new level of doomed.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
She was an alien, really - a sort of eating, pooping, tantrum machine - and he didn't understand anything about her species. — Christopher Moore Alien Copy Share Image
Sweetheart, wake up; you've destroyed the house and I need you to suffer for it. — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“I'm fucked. We're fucked. Together. Like Romeo and Juliet, only we get to be in a sequel.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
You don't hurry a thinker, and you don't talk to him when he's thinking. It's just inconsiderate. — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
You were supposed to empathize with your friend's problem, but they were, after all, your friend's problems... — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
The reason I'm writing funny books is that I wish there were more. — Christopher Moore Books Copy Share Image
“So, have you seen Flood?" she asked. "Cop?" She added "cop" with a high pop on the p, like it was a… — Christopher Moore Christopher-moore Copy Share Image
“Abby Von Normal - And I'm like, "Don't change the subject, Kung Pao, what I want to know is if you're ready… — Christopher Moore Funny Copy Share Image
. . . You seem upset, Charlie. Is something wrong? Charlie: No, no, I’m okay, I just had to take directions from… — Christopher Moore Beavers Copy Share Image
“People thought I was one of those people who beats their kid in department stores.” “Don’t be ridiculous, Charlie, people love the… — Christopher Moore Parenting Copy Share Image
“Well, it is written, two out of three ain’t bad.” “Where is that written?” “Dalmatians 9:7, I think—doesn’t matter, no one else… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
San Francisco is a breathtakingly beautiful city, with lots of great contrasts between dark and light, often overlapping each other. It's a… — Christopher Moore Beautiful Copy Share Image
“[Author's Notes] As I write this, September 2002, much about the humpback song is still unknown. (Although scientists do know that it… — Christopher Moore Books Copy Share Image
“Leathery bar girls worked the charter booths at the harbor, smoking Basic 100s and talking in voices that sounded like 151 rum… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“There's no scientific basis for zombieism -- except for some experiments in the Caribbean with blowfish toxins that put people in a… — Christopher Moore Near death Copy Share Image
“Clair put down her knife and pickle, then wiped her hands. As she came toward Clay she pulled a large bobby pin… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“What are you working on?" Elizabeth asked. Nate could hear her tapping a pencil on her desk. She took notes during their… — Christopher Moore Conversations Copy Share Image
“In fact, amid all the musical laments over not having a heart, a brain, or the nerve, did anyone notice that they… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“He really wanted to remain angry, but somehow he had come to believe that women were wondrous, mysterious, and magical creatures who… — Christopher Moore Respect Copy Share Image
“(Samson is talking to a bum on the street.) "A guy stops near here every morning with a truck-picks up guys to… — Christopher Moore Every morning Copy Share Image
“Pervy and redundant, don't you think?" I asked the big gay cop, who wouldn't know a va-jay-jay if it bounced up to… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“You see," I explained to Joshua, "what Joy is doing is ironic, yet that's not her intent. That's the difference between irony… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Splendid,” said the Emperor, without a hint of sarcasm. “I believe we’ve achieved a new level of doomed.” Y” — Christopher Moore Emperor Copy Share Image
“And then I see that the old vampyre is charred like Wile E. Coyote after a bad rocket shoes test.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Rivera rubbed his temples. "Satan told you to do it?" he said wearily. "No." "Elvis?" "I told you, it's supernatural.” — Christopher Moore Comedy-humor Copy Share Image
“No. Trust me, you have to leave me now so you won't later. I'll see you again.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“On the radio, turned low, Reba sang of hard times with the full authority of a cross-eyed redheaded millionaire.” — Christopher Moore Country Copy Share Image
“You tell soldiers what they need to hear to go to war. Bitches need a mission, not a goal.” — Christopher Moore Goals Copy Share Image
“Within twelve hours they had pulled mankind's teeth. Then the hunting began.” — Christopher Moore Hunting Copy Share Image
I can't write a book like 'Lamb' or 'Fool' every year. It just takes too much research and craft. — Christopher Moore Book Copy Share Image
“Oh, how the pillars of lust can crumble under the weight of stupidity.” — Christopher Moore Lust Copy Share Image
“He shuffled along with the hang-dog look of the cosmically fucked.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
And he was like "The sedative in the blood, blah, blah, four hours, blah, blah, nerdspeak, geektalk -" -Abby — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
The Angel Gabriel disappeared once for sixty years and they found him on earth hiding in the body of a man named… — Christopher Moore Angel Copy Share Image
“You cannot believe what you do not believe, Rumi siad. I am an Untouchable because my karma dictates it.” — Christopher Moore Belief Copy Share Image
“Animals might put up with that smiley shit, but people will eventually kill you for it.” — Christopher Moore Animals Copy Share Image
“The night was crisp and the stars shone with a cold blue light like loneliness or infinity.” — Christopher Moore Astronomy Copy Share Image
“killer whales are just four tons of doofus dressed up like a police car.” — Christopher Moore Killer whales Copy Share Image
![“[Author's Notes] As I write this, September 2002, much about the humpback song is still unknown. (Although scientists do know that it tends to be found in the New Age music section, as well as in tropical waters...)” quote by Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/cd0/christopher-moore-353_books_author-s-notes-as-i-write-this-september_1071886.png)
