Sarcastic Quotes · Page 20

It's not you, it's me = It's me that can do a lot better, not you.

— Sarah Moores

Folks always look good in their coffins.

— Elvis Presley

I see lots of things, except your point..

— Sarah Moores

“Every day is a gift. But some days are packaged better.”

— Sanhita Baruah

So does 'shuffle' mean playing all the songs you don't want to hear?

— Nikhil Saluja

I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.

— George Carlin

Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.

— Mark Twain

Never criticize Americans. They have the best taste that money can buy.

— Miles Kington

Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'

— Joan Rivers

The problem with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, but with absolutely no talent.

— Hugh Leonard

The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.

— George Carlin

“So, you're telling me the zoo commissioned you to make a zombie panda in order to avoid a potential international incident.”

— Lish McBride

When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite teams from other countries to play as well.

— John Cleese

The ability to recognize whether or not someone is being sarcastic is a sign of a healthy mind.

— Anonymous

When I see a man of shallow understanding extravagantly clothed, I feel sorry - for the clothes.

— Josh Billings

Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interupt the start of yours?

— Anonymous

I would love to make a sarcastic film; I am so sarcastic that even my kids are now getting used to my…

— Farah Khan

That is what I like about you, Mr. Dashwood," she said. "You are so decisive. It saves me the bother of thinking…

— Loretta Chase

“Don't get smart or sarcastic He snaps back just like elastic Spare us the theatrics and the verbal gymnastics We break wise…

— Elvis Costello

Definition Of A Celebrity: A person whowho works hard all their life to be successful and to be known, and then wears…

— Toni Watson

I was stopped by a policeman and his over excited sniffer dog the other day, my dog says you are on drugs,…

— Humaira

“I'm sarcastic and facetious. It's hard to find those people on the first encounter. I can be nice, but I don't want…

— Bertsche

“What you are is an inteligent, sassy, sarcastic, cynical, neurotic, loyal, compassionate girl. That's what you are, OK? You're not a slut…

— Kody Keplinger

Should we do this now?" Pam gave an almost inaudible snort. She was smiling in the glow of the streetlight, suddenly exhilarated.…

— Charlaine Harris

She should get a divorce and settle down.

— Jack Paar

He made enemies as naturally as soap makes suds.

— Percival Wilde

He could never see a belt without hitting below it.

— Margot Asquith

America knows nothing of food, love, or art.

— Isadora Duncan

I will always love the false image I had of you.

— Ashleigh Brilliant

I'm kind of sarcastic. Not cynical but sarcastic.

— Gal Gadot

Sometimes it physically pains me to hold back my sarcastic comments

— Blossom

Please try not to be such a wiener-head.

— Dave Barry

Oh you're talking to me, I thought you only spoke behind my back!

— Anonymous

If you cant beat them,arrange to have them beaten.

— Gerorge Carlin

Do you think it's a good idea to be sarcastic about slavery?

— Angela Rye

Sarcastic people tend to be marshmallows underneath the armor

— Stephen King

The English have a miraculous power of turning wine into water.

— Oscar Wilde

Now we know why some animals eat their own children.

— Anonymous

You're a habit I'd like to kick - with both feet.

— Anonymous

A brain of feathers, and a heart of lead.

— Alexander Pope