Sarcastic Quotes · Page 22

No Calls ? I Understand , No Texts ? I Understand ; but When I'm With Someone Else , You Should Understand Too.

— Syoung

“We’re automatons in a symphony conducted by a lunatic and performed by blind idealists.” Damon”

— Eleni Papanou

Sorry, honey. Sarcasm falls from my mouth as easily as stupidity falls from yours...

— Anonymous

Religion is like a pair of shoes…Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes.

— George Carlin

A paper should be like a mini skirt: long enough to cover everything, but short enough to keep it interesting.

— Hemant Smarty

If you don't advertise yourself you will be advertised by your loving enemies.

— Elbert Hubbard

In real life...you can't write 2 sentences on antyhing...but on Twitter you're a philosopher...

— Jerett Parker

“wen thectaste of my own medicine is given to me results into silent treatment,its not bitter therefore i enjoy the medicine i…

— mohlalefi j motsima

My mom was sarcastic about men. She would tell me Adam was the rough draft and Eve was the final product. She…

— Daphne Zuniga

“I fucking quote, "go full epic on my ass" if I didn't quit with my sarcastic ways. Please. I don't even know…

— Alex West

I'm very bubbly, so when people meet me, they sometimes think I'm fake. I'm excited to meet new people, but I guess…

— Lyndsy Fonseca

“You are, however, surprisingly light of touch.” “Pardon?” “The way you’re holding my hand. I always thought you’d be more of a…

— G.A. Aiken

The male chromosome is an incomplete female chromosome. In other words the male is a walking abortion; aborted at the gene stage.…

— Valerie Solanas

One of my first films was Zebrahead. I remember the producer asking me, "Can you handle the big lights?" And I thought,…

— Maryse Alberti

EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the…

— Ambrose Bierce

“eyes as she spoke. She sort of did it all the time, actually, making you unable to figure out when she was…

— Marian Tee

Government is like junior high. Your status depends upon whom you're able to persecute.

— Jonathan Kellerman

The atmosphere of Venus consists of ammonia, sulfur, and nitric oxide. Man must have lived there once.

— Andre Brie

Oh I'm sorry, I didnt realize that you are an expert on my life and how I should live it. Please continue…

— Anonymous

Deliberate with caution, but act with decision and yield with graciousness, or oppose with firmness.

— Anonymous

I'm impressed, I've never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.

— Anonymous

What are the proper proportions of a maxim? A minimum of sound to a maximum of sense.

— Mark Twain

Everyone has the right to run his own life- even if you're heading for a crash. What I'm against is blind flying.

— Mae West

Damn, I forgot to go to the gym yesterday! That's 10 years in a row now...

— Anonymous

I would have liked to insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn't understand me.

— Anonymous

Look, if I'd wanted a lecture on the rights of man, I'd have gone to bed with Martin Luther.

— Rowan Atkinson

If I can't kiss my own ass what makes you think I'm going to kiss yours?

— Nicole Hill

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

— Will Rogers

When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head.

— Anonymous

There is one thing on earth more terrible than English music, and that is English painting.

— Heinrich Heine

Getting married is like trading in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.

— Mae West

Never vote for the best candidate, vote for the one who will do the least harm.

— Frank Dane

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. So said by the idiot who can't understand it.

— Ramandeep Singh

Everyone knows what a hypocrite is. That's the guy who gripes about the sex, violence and nudity on his VCR.

— Zig Ziglar

You crush the Caterpillars, but then complain when there's no Butterflys...

— Toni Watson

Go Compareeee Go Compareeeee give me a bat to hit the tw** at Go Compare. :@

— Sarah Moores

What is the use of straining after an amiable view of things, when a cynical view is most likely to be the…

— George Bernard Shaw

Going through unknown people's profiles and judging them by their pictures is totally normal.

— Pradeep Chandra

“No need to be sarcastic, Codex. I think that's sincere, actually. Wow.”

— Cassandra Clare

He must have had a magnificent build before his stomach went in for a career of its own.

— Margaret Halsey