Sarcastic Quotes · Page 23

I hate when people see me at the supermarket and they're like hey what are you doing here? and I'm just like…

— Anonymous

Your services might be as useful as a barbershop on the steps of a guillotine.

— Rowan Atkinson

Shout out to the dudes trying get laid via Facebook picture comments, you keep working on that grind, your time will come...

— Anonymous

Destiny stands by sarcastic with our dramatis personae folded in her hand.

— George Eliot

My dream part would be to play Mitt Romney's sarcastic black maid. We could call it 'Mammy & Me.'

— Natasha Leggero

When people ask dumb questions, I feel obligated to give sarcastic answers.

— Anonymous

I'm not always sarcastic...there's a lot of times where I mean every bit of what I say .!

— Ritu Ghatourey

Americans will put up with anything, provided that It doesn't block traffic

— Toni Watson

Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God,…

— David Letterman

“Edythe;s vibrant red coloring and her petite stature drew men to her side...that is,until they discovered her sarcastic, cutting wit, which often…

— Michele Sinclair

I once told a journalist that girls call me 'Kitten,' but I couldn't have been more sarcastic, and no matter how many…

— Joaquin Phoenix

I think whoever started the 'Good morning' thing was just being sarcastic.

— Anonymous

“Oh, don't mind me," came an extremely sarcastic voice near the wall. “You two go ahead and make out–I'll just sit here…

— Julie Kagawa

I suppose there are a lot of reasons to be jaded or sarcastic or bitter in life, but I hang on to…

— Kelli O'Hara

A sarcastic person has a superiority complex that can be cured only by the honesty of humility.

— Lawrence G. Lovasik

“No need to be sarcastic,” he said. “How can you not be sarcastic in this pharmacy you call a school?”

— Hamish De'Lamet

Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.

— Oscar Wilde

Do not touch MY iPhone. It's not an usPhone, it's not a wePhone, it's not an ourPhone. It's an iPhone.

— Ritu Ghatourey

I need a Boyfriend. No...You WANT a Boyfriend. You NEED some water, because you sound THIRSTY

— Toni Watson

A police officer asked me where I was between 4 and 5? I said kindergarten.

— Kayla Knight

“No, but as a vampire, I'm able to detect subtle shifts in emotional energy.”

— Rachel Hawkins

Beethoven always sounds to me like the upsetting of a bag of nails, with here and there an also dropped hammer.

— John Ruskin

Time to start being all smart and stuff again...such a hassle, I'd rather be silly and sarcastic ALL the time

— Anonymous

I've no time for broads who want to rule the world alone. Without men, who'd do up the zipper on the back…

— Mae West

Definition Of A Human Being: A Creature That Chops Down Trees, Makes It Into Paper, And Writes, SAVE TREES On That Same…

— Toni Watson

Wit is the salt of conversation, not the food, and few things in the world are more wearying than a sarcastic attitude…

— Agnes Repplier

“Little-known fact about cheerleaders: They keep schedules that would make grown marines cry.”

— Jennifer Lynn Barnes

Watching the fireworks alone is so romantic, I just wanna make out with myself...

— Anonymous

You might as well just move onto a boat because you're always fishing for compliments.

— Anonymous

I want to write I miss you at the brick, and throw it to you. Cause I want you to know how…

— Anonymous

My daughter got me a 'World's Best Dad' mug. So we know she's sarcastic.

— Bob Odenkirk

A sophisticated rhetorician, inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity.

— Benjamin Disraeli

“It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing”

— Josh Stern

Well, I was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament!

— Mitch Hedberg

I like most people as long as they're not behind a steering wheel or a keyboard.

— Anonymous

I'll bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at the stork.

— Irving Brecher

An economist is a surgeon with an excellent scalpel and a rough-edged lancet, who operates beautifully on the dead and tortures the…

— Nicolas Chamfort

Cop pulls over a car: Cop:Do you know why I pulled you over? Driver: You thought I had donuts?

— Humaira

Humor is a good way in general to get people together, I think. Of course, Danish humor is more ironic and sarcastic…

— Henrik Vibskov

For guys its bros before hoes, for girls its chicks before dicks, for me it who ever the eff has my back…

— Anonymous