Sarcastic Quotes · Page 21

“No, but as a vampire, I'm able to detect subtle shifts in emotional energy.”

— Rachel Hawkins

Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.

— Oscar Wilde

Do not touch MY iPhone. It's not an usPhone, it's not a wePhone, it's not an ourPhone. It's an iPhone.

— Ritu Ghatourey

“Oh, don't mind me," came an extremely sarcastic voice near the wall. “You two go ahead and make out–I'll just sit here…

— Julie Kagawa

I suppose there are a lot of reasons to be jaded or sarcastic or bitter in life, but I hang on to…

— Kelli O'Hara

A sarcastic person has a superiority complex that can be cured only by the honesty of humility.

— Lawrence G. Lovasik

“No need to be sarcastic,” he said. “How can you not be sarcastic in this pharmacy you call a school?”

— Hamish De'Lamet

Shout out to the dudes trying get laid via Facebook picture comments, you keep working on that grind, your time will come...

— Anonymous

In order to know whether a human being is young or old, offer it food of different kinds at short intervals. If…

— Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr

“If you are going to do that, would you mind not jostling the bed so much?' came a sarcastic voice near the…

— Julie Kagawa

Creative semantics is the key to contemporary government; it consists of talking in strange tongues lest the public learn the inevitable inconveniently…

— Anonymous

It's so normal for a teenager to dress in black -- and be real unhappy and stay in your room and say…

— Christina Ricci

Prior to Valentinus, those who follow Valentinus had no existence. Nor did those from Marcion exist before Marcion. Nor, in short, did…

— Irenaeus of Lyons

If one loves to hear 'Praises' then one should be able to adapt with Sarcasm, though being bitter, sarcasm has a path…

— Nidhi Saini

I go up in the supermarkets and people always go what are you doing here and I go I'm hungry in a…

— Rakim

Tell the cook of this restaurant with my compliments that these are the very worst sandwiches in the whole world, and that,…

— Oscar Wilde

Destiny stands by sarcastic with our dramatis personae folded in her hand.

— George Eliot

My dream part would be to play Mitt Romney's sarcastic black maid. We could call it 'Mammy & Me.'

— Natasha Leggero

When people ask dumb questions, I feel obligated to give sarcastic answers.

— Anonymous

I'm not always sarcastic...there's a lot of times where I mean every bit of what I say .!

— Ritu Ghatourey

Americans will put up with anything, provided that It doesn't block traffic

— Toni Watson

I think whoever started the 'Good morning' thing was just being sarcastic.

— Anonymous

“No need to be sarcastic, Codex. I think that's sincere, actually. Wow.”

— Cassandra Clare

He must have had a magnificent build before his stomach went in for a career of its own.

— Margaret Halsey

I hate when people see me at the supermarket and they're like hey what are you doing here? and I'm just like…

— Anonymous

Your services might be as useful as a barbershop on the steps of a guillotine.

— Rowan Atkinson

Now then, you dogs, whom the apostle puts outside and who yelp at the God of truth, let us come to your…

— Tertullian

Men never do anything right. And if they do something right, they'll never do it again.

— Anonymous

Only Lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty.

— George Bernard Shaw

CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns.

— Ambrose Bierce

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.

— Mark Twain

They say REVENGE is a dish best served cold. They also say REVENGE is sweet. This means, basically REVENGE is ICE-CREAM.

— Anonymous

The youth of America is their oldest tradition. It has been going on now for three hundred years.

— Oscar Wilde

A woman's preaching is like a dog's walking on his hinter legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to…

— James Boswell

He is so mean, he won't let his little baby have more than one measle at a time.

— Eugene Field

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice.

— Anonymous

I write all the time. Some of them are very personalized things. Some of them are sarcastic looks at life.

— Bill Ward

People often think I'm a faker, but I'm usually honest, in a certain way--in such a way that often nobody believes me!

— Richard P. Feynman

Why do we laugh at such terrible things? Because comedy is often the sarcastic realization of inescapable tragedy.

— Bryant H. McGill

“If walls could talk - scratch that, if walls could make sarcastic comments... well, things would be interesting.”

— Meghan Apriceno