Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
That's the whole meaning of life, isn't it? Trying to find a place for your stuff. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.” — George Carlin Copy Share Image
People think life is real complicated. Actually, there's nothing to it. Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Looking back, I realize that my life has been a series of incidents where one person has said to another, "Get this… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
They [the Reagan Administration] want to put street criminals in jail to make life safer for the business criminals. They're against street… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I wanna live. I don’t wanna die. That’s the whole meaning of life: Not dying! I figured that shit out by myself… — george carlin Copy Share Image
“In some company it’s perfectly all right to prick your finger, but very bad form to finger your prick.” — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Life is sacred? Who said so? God? Hey, if you read history, you realize that God is one of the leading causes… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I always wanted and enjoyed sex, but I never put much importance on scoring or having an athletic sex life. I guess… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I like to say two things in life that mean the most: genetics and luck. When you look at it realistically, genetics… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It's depressing to see blacks wanting to dive into the mainstream of American commercial life. They come from a magnificent African culture… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot.” — George Carlin Copy Share Image
What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30 years,>Read People Magazine your whole life...? Take… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share
These days many politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people. — George Carlin Copy Share
![“They [the Reagan Administration] want to put street criminals in jail to make life safer for the business criminals. They're against street crime, providing that street isn't Wall Street.” quote by George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/0d0/george-carlin-155_administration_they-the-reagan-administration-want-to-p_3153402.jpg)
