“Sorry, no. I refuse to join an army which practices human sacrifice and has no adequate pension plan.” — Toby Frost Copy Share Image
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I’d managed to find a hobbit in the Caucasus Mountains. I wondered what he would do if I asked him about second… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
“You think I can't get it up anymore, maybe? Lemme tell you, you eat enough garlic and it stands up every time.” — Alberto Vitale Copy Share Image
“It is not true that the English invented cricket as a way of making all other human endeavors look interesting and lively;… — Bill Bryson Copy Share Image
“For some reason when I type the word "love" in my iPad it keeps autocorrecting to "live". I find it oddly profound.… — Annastacia Dickerson Copy Share Image
“Suddenly he caught his reflection in the mirror behind her. His face was twisted into a dark scowl, and he was standing… — Sarah Mayberry Copy Share Image
Liberace was certainly master and commander of the ivories ~ he is the only pianist I can watch or listen to without… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“We're going to have ourselves one hell of a Ruckus," said Smokey with a grin that went quite beyond the boundaries of… — Joshua Donellan Copy Share Image
“We would not be ashamed of doing some of the things we do in private, if the number of sane human beings… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Jase props himself up on an elbow, looking at me for a minute without saying anything. His face gets an unreadable expression,… — Huntley Fitzpatrick Copy Share Image
“We did photograph albums, best dresses, favourite novels, and once someone's own novel. It was about a week in a telephone box… — Jeanette Winterson Copy Share Image
“...soft light ate away at the darkness and revealed a rather large room outfitted with a small kitchen, an antique-looking couch, and… — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
“Young Surrey now lays down his knife and begins to complain. Noblemen, he laments, are not respected as they were in the… — Hilary Mantel Copy Share Image
“Bloody hell," he gasped. "Harry. There's a *knife* in my leg. When did *that* happen?" "In the duel," I told him. "Don't… — Jim Butcher Copy Share Image
“One thing you'll learn when you're in the business of selling utter shite to the Great British Public is that there's really… — John Niven Copy Share Image
“You have very Grace Kelly-like tendencies about you. I hear Grace Kelly had a filthy mouth too," he added. "You love my… — Christina Lauren Copy Share Image
“The way that we hygger and offer reassurance is unique to each of us according to the things to which we attach… — Louisa Thomsen Brits Copy Share Image
There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who love chocolate, and communists. . . — Leslie Moak Murray Copy Share Image
People who know me know that there's a light-hearted side, humour... But you could easily say I am cheeky. — Waris Ahluwalia Copy Share Image
Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke. — Joss Whedon Copy Share Image
“Remember the 11th commandment. Thou shalt not take thyself to damn seriously.” — Roy Mcconnell Copy Share Image
What's happened to humour? We're becoming American. Everyone gets so angry over everything. — Rupert Everett Copy Share Image
My capacity for humour may have come largely from my father - he liked to entertain people, make people laugh. — Morris Gleitzman Copy Share Image
“Should I get you a shovel so you can dig that hole a little deeper?” — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
Think of what would happen to us... if there were no humorists; life would be one long Congressional Record. — Thomas Lansing Masson Copy Share Image
“The whole room said, "Admire without touching anything and then get out.” — Kaje Harper Copy Share Image
I think if you come from a history of persecution you have to develop a sense of humour. — Sacha Baron Cohen Copy Share Image
Tempted to type meaningless twaddle all the time on Twitter...with alliteration, no less! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you don't have humour, then you may as well nail the coffin lid down now. — Roger Moore Copy Share Image
