Think of what would happen to us... if there were no…

Think of what would happen to us in America if there were no humorists; life would be one long Congressional Record

— Tom Masson

I've always been very upfront about the way I write, and I've always used the tools humorists use, such as exaggeration.

— David Sedaris

If there's anything I hate it's the word humorist-I feel like countering with the word seriousist.

— Peter De Vries

Humor is an escape, because you cannot think about your problems when you are trying to be funny; so, in essence, "being a humorist"…

— Dave Barry

I've never made up events, but I've always been a big exaggerator. It's written on my humorist license that I'm allowed to do that.

— David Sedaris

Man is kind enough when he is not excited by religion

— Mark Twain

Humor is really one of the hardest things to define, very hard. And it's very ambiguous. You have it or you don't. You can't…

— Heinrich Böll

We should make the poor uncomfortable and kick them out of poverty.

— Benjamin Franklin

The humorist has a good eye for the humbug; he does not always recognize the saint.

— W. Somerset Maugham

Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration.

— Mark Twain

Humorists always sit at the children's table.

— Woody Allen

The proverb says, "Born lucky, always lucky," and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for…

— Mark Twain

I've always been leery of comical artists because I think oftentimes they're hiding the fact that they're not that talented. For example, with Martin…

— Diego Cortez

I learned as a young man that I don't write jokes, but that I can deliver more mundane material and get a laugh. I…

— Nick Offerman

This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books.

— Garrison Keillor