Comedy Quotes · Page 344

I have an aversion to laugh tracks - the moment I hear a laugh track, I go to another channel.

— Bob Newhart

I use humour a lot. My foundation is tragic, but my appearance is humorous.

— Bahman Ghobadi

We're an improv group and a sketch comedy group called the Tenderloins, that's our alter ego.

— James Murray

My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.

— Rodney Dangerfield

I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary. It did not need to exist.

— Mitch Hedberg

British people would die for their right to drink themselves to death

— John Oliver

I never like to do parodies. I never do. It's just not my style of comedy.

— Ivan Reitman

There's no real preparing at home for stand-up. You just go and you just do it.

— Louis C. K

“I look around at everybody laughing and joking together and struggle to understand my life has become a living hell that nobody…

— B.A. Paris

Writing a whole series was a crash course in screenwriting, which is a very different muscle to standup comedy writing.

— Ronny Chieng

You can analyse a joke and say it's funny because this guy thought this was going to happen, and that happened, and…

— John Lloyd

You find out that the universe is a system that creeps up on itself and says 'Boo' and then laughs at itself…

— Alan Watts

That old question about whether, as a woman, you can be funny and attractive at the same time. Argh! I hate that…

— Emma Stone

I get to do stand-up every single day. I love that live energy exchange between the audience and myself, and to get…

— Ellen DeGeneres

People who have very devastating lives sometimes have the most wild, avant-garde humor. It's like when you've seen it all and been…

— Jenny Zhang

To make fun of a person to his face is a brutal way of amusing one's self; be delicate and cunning, and…

— Gelett Burgess

I can't be naturalistic enough to make it sound real. So instead, I just wander around aimlessly knowing that I'll be funny…

— Norm MacDonald

The way you deal with a scare is the way you deal with a laugh. The timing has to be perfect. When…

— Patrick Wilson

“...Whenever someone says to me, 'Jerry Lewis says women aren't funny,' or 'Christopher Hitchens says women aren't funny,' or 'Rick Fenderman says…

— Tina Fey

There's public humor, and there's private humor, and they're all appropriate in their own way, and you shouldn't - just as you…

— Robert Mankoff

A lot of my comic influences are distinctly American: Woody Allen and Bob Hope, for example. They were always the underdogs who…

— Stephen Merchant

Without laughter life on our planet would be intolerable. So important is laughter to us that humanity highly rewards members of one…

— Steve Allen

Comedians dissect jokes all the time. Comedians are beautiful structuralists. But ultimately it's an athletic endeavor. You have to be able to…

— Stephen Colbert

“During our visit, we noticed she was mixing up words. She started referring to Muslims as Mormons. After 9/11, she told Jon…

— Mollie Gross

I had envisioned doing comedy since childhood. For sure.

— Ed Helms

Element of surprise is really fun for me in comedy. I have to be surprised, and everything's been done.

— Zach Galifianakis

I think my life has everything, you know; it has comedy, has drama, has action.

— Cesar Millan

If by being overstudious, we impair our health and spoil our good humor, let us give it up.

— Michel de Montaigne

Comedy is like music, and the way to make the best music is to have skilled musicians in your band.

— Rashida Jones

If you can make just one person laugh, then you are already doing better than Tony Danza.

— Emo Philips

I live for comedy. I've been doing it for such a long time. Comedy is hard in itself.

— Victoria Justice

I'm not a fan of stand-up comedy, personally. But some of them are incredibly skilled.

— Bob Mortimer

Even in your darkest moments, you'll think of something that'll crack you up.

— Brad Paisley

“Laugh at yourself once in a while; give yourself a break.”

— Greg Evans

I just do what I think is funny and what's exciting to me.

— Chris Lilley

“Laughter is the only sound left I can make that people will understand.”

— Anonymous

Saying something completely inappropriate and still is charming

— Mazher (@mazher50

Everyone in this world who has ever dreamed about better things has been laughed at.

— May Robson

I think I have always tried to connect my comedy to my art.

— Louie Anderson

I could've ended up in action films forever. But the comedy thing has been my forte.

— Terry Crews