"I have to pee out of my ass." — Nick Swardson
"I have to pee out of my ass."
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Nick Swardson
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34 Quotes by Nick Swardson
Nick Swardson has 34 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Babies are like the smallest, drunkest people you know.
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If you want to be a comedian, go out. Do a week in Des Moines, Iowa. Try to make those…
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Comedy is so subjective, you know what I mean? To sit there and technically pick it apart is so stupid.
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No one will ever be as good as Phil Hartman. He was such an amazing genius, and may be the…
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I moved to the Ukraine. And it was cold, and everyone had guns, and smelled like soup.
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God bless you Jimmy, God bless your heart.
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Can we take a shower and talk about this?
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Ah, you smell like a winner. You smell like USA!
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You look great Jimmy. You look amazing and your hair rocks. You look so good, oh my gosh. You look…
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Hello........Cool I hope its a naked dude with a boner.
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Fruitcup? Nice....way to go mom!
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Who wants to know what Jackie Gleason's balls tasted like? Yes, Cornbread.
See all 34 quotes by Nick Swardson »
More Ass Quotes
This quote is filed under Ass Quotes,
one of 2,172 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Most chick singers say 'if you hurt me, I'll die'... I say, 'if you hurt me, I'll kick your ass.'
— Pat Benatar
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I get satisfaction of three kinds. One is creating something, one is being paid for it and one is the…
— William F. Buckley, Jr.
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A man that hoards up riches and enjoys them not, is like an ass that carries gold and eats thistles.
— Richard Burton
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If it's illegal to rock and roll, throw my ass in jail!
— Kurt Cobain
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I almost resent the whole fashion thing. Good God- never wearing the same thing twice and all of those things.…
— Jennifer Aniston
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When I die, bury me on my stomach and let the world kiss my ass.
— LL Cool J
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I felt like I was definitely robbed, and I refuse to give any politically correct bullshit ass comment. I was…
— Kanye West
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The biggest sin is sitting on your ass.
— Florynce Kennedy
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Life's hard. It's even harder when you're stupid.
— John Wayne
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Life is never easy for those who dream.
— Robert James Waller
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We view ourselves on the eve of battle. We are nerved for the contest, and must conquer or perish. It…
— Sam Houston
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I hope you're all Republicans.
— Ronald Reagan
See all 2,172 Ass Quotes »