"An escalator can never break: it can only……" — Mitch Hedberg
"An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."
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- Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience. — Mitch Hedberg
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163 Quotes by Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg has 163 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:
- Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.
- Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you…
- I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get…
- I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something picketing, but I don't know how…
- Foosball screwed up my perception of soccer. I though you had to kick the ball and then spin around and…
- If you drink O'Douls, you don't drink; but if you drink 20 O'Douls in a half hour, then you're a…
- I went to a restaurant, and I saw a guy wearing a leather jacket, eating a hamburger, drinking a glass…
- What am I drinking? NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable.
- I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations…
- I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time.
- Hell, yeah! Meeting adjourned!
- Well, I was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament!