"A burrito is a sleeping bag for ground…" — Mitch Hedberg
"A burrito is a sleeping bag for ground beef."
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Mitch Hedberg
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163 Quotes by Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg has 163 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.
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Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you…
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I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get…
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I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something picketing, but I don't know how…
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Foosball screwed up my perception of soccer. I though you had to kick the ball and then spin around and…
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If you drink O'Douls, you don't drink; but if you drink 20 O'Douls in a half hour, then you're a…
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I went to a restaurant, and I saw a guy wearing a leather jacket, eating a hamburger, drinking a glass…
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What am I drinking? NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable.
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I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations…
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I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time.
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Hell, yeah! Meeting adjourned!
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Well, I was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament!
See all 163 quotes by Mitch Hedberg »
More Bag Quotes
This quote is filed under Bag Quotes,
one of 757 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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I start from scratch with each movie; I wipe the slate and I certainly don't rely on some bag of…
— Christian Bale
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I eat cheese and salami and a lot of fried chicken. I eat a big bag of oatmeal-raisin cookies every…
— Ellen Barkin
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I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym…
— Charles Barkley
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'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.
— Dave Barry
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To the eyes of a miser a guinea is more beautiful than the sun, and a bag worn with the…
— William Blake
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If you go out on the Appalachian Trail, you have to bring so much more equipment - a tent, sleeping…
— Bill Bryson
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In my third husband I had discovered a blissfully laid-back type who thought it nothing less than hilarious when I…
— Julie Burchill
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Remember, you must not sleep at the Seder. If you do, Elijah the Prophet will come with a bag on…
— Sholom Aleichem
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Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making.
— Fred Allen
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Sci-fi has never really been my bag. But I do believe in a lot of weird things these days, such…
— John Cleese
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The base paths belonged to me, the runner. The rules gave me the right. I always went into a bag…
— Ty Cobb
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All the characters in my films are fighting these problems, needing freedom, trying to find a way to cut themselves…
— Michelangelo Antonioni
See all 757 Bag Quotes »