Answers Quote by Milton Berle

A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."

— Henny Youngman

A guy complains of a headache. Another guy says, Do what I do. I put my head on my wife's bosom, and the headache…

— Henny Youngman

“A woman is driving along when the car in front of her hits the brakes suddenly, and she plows into it. An extremely short…

— Lawrence Dorfman

A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to…

— Henny Youngman

“What are you doing here?” I ask, stepping out of the car. “Waiting for you.” He closes the car door behind me. “I called…

— Laurie Faria Stolarz

I'm sitting, waiting to get on the freeway, and I'm waiting my ass off. I look over at the side of the road, and…

— Doug Benson

...the story of a man who saw three fellows laying bricks at a new building: He approached the first and asked, What are you…

— Bill Vaughan

Lady crossing the street, not paying attention, almost got hit. Turns to husband & screams, 'Why didn't YOU watch where I was going?!'

— Kal Penn

A woman is gentle, soft, delicate, and a man's position is to protect her, help her up stairs, make sure she's in the car…

— Taraji P. Henson

“Would you like me to drive so you can manage your social life?” I asked. It came out much snippier than I'd intended but…

— Wendy Higgins

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge…

— Bill Engvall

A woman says to a man, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife." "So…

— Henny Youngman