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Money Quote by Jack Handy

“And after you're real drunk, maybe go down to the public park and stagger around and ask people for money, and then lay down and go to sleep.” quote by Jack Handy — Download Open image

“And after you're real drunk, maybe go down to the public park and stagger around and ask people for money, and then lay down and go to sleep.”

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More by Jack Handy

If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like now.

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If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way,…

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“Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes”

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If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now

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I think one way the cops could make money would be to hold a murder weapons sale. Many people could really use used ice…

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If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.

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It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy.…

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Probably the earliest fly swatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.

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I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals

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Explore all 10 Jack Handy quotes

More Money quotes

You've got to tell your money what to do or it will leave.

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Don't let's lose sight of what creates wealth. It is open markets, it is capitalism.

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If I had a dollar for every time I couldn’t sleep, I could buy a billion locks and finally read a book in peace.

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Money is the kind of instrument which is very speedily produced.

Anatoly Chubais

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I would borrow money all day long, if the cost of borrowing is less than the expected return.

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If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong.

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Maybe you can,t buy a big house.. A new car.. A huge diamond ring.. But if you have just one true friend who loves…

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“Don't allow money to become the yardstick by which you measure the worth of the world around you!”

Andrew James Pritchard

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Academically, I was never that interested. I skipped classes. My biggest dream was to have a coffee shop, but I had no idea how…

Daniel Espinosa

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Amongst the financial Twitterati, the term 'muppets' has come to describe any client used and abused by some financial predator. I've adopted the term…

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I doubt that we Americans can come to terms with our money neuroses without understanding the more florid pathology of the very rich for…

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“The writer must earn money in order to be able to live and to write, but he must by no means live and write…

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