Answers Quote by Gilbert Gottfried

A guy complains of a headache. Another guy says, Do what I do. I put my head on my wife's bosom, and the headache…

— Henny Youngman

When you open the elevator on the top floor of a building and the other guy doesn't get out, something is seriously wrong.

— Mitch Hedberg

“You’d really give up your big, swanky apartment?” “If you don’t want to move in there with me, yes.” “But you love your apartment.”…

— Suzanne Wright

“One of the odd things about living in an apartment was that you could walk out of someone's life but still have to wait…

— James Collins

In a blackout, a Polish man was stuck on an escalator for two hours. I asked him, "Why didn't you walk down?" He said,…

— Henny Youngman

“The rent should rise with the elevator.”

— Jarod Kintz

One person's ceiling is another person's floor.

— Denis Waitley

“IN AN OLD YUGOSLAV JOKE mocking police corruption, a policeman returns home unexpectedly and finds his wife naked in their marital bed, obviously hot…

— Slavoj Žižek

A man walks into a hospital feeling unwell and the doctor says: "Sorry, you've only got three minutes to live." The man said: "Can…

— Frank Carson

“I couldn’t have him in my apartment walking through my bedroom to look at my faucet. That would mean he’d be in my apartment.…

— Kristen Ashley

“The landlord called our new home a railroad apartment: each room leading to the next, like railway cars.”

— Christina Baker Kline

“I’m guessing you don’t have to share a bathroom at your house,” I say with the casual tone of someone who isn’t waving her…

— Sarah Castille