There are certain things I don't want to joke about. If it's about somebody else, it's fine. If it's about me, I… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway. — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
I personally think Miles Davis is a lot funnier than me. And he's working more. — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
There are times when I've had ideas walking down the street that I thought were great, and the minute I got onstage,… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
At the Last Supper how come no one sat on the other side of the table? See, I think originally there were… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
No, generally I think influence is used as a nice word for plagiarism. — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked. — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
With Katrina, it's almost like the sequel that doesn't live up to the original. It's certainly a shocking event and a tragedy, but somehow… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time. — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
I always wish the hotels were like they are in movies and TV shows, where if you're in Paris, right outside your window is… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
If the police ever try to pick me up, Michael Jackson told me I can hide out at his house. — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
I remember being at the premiere of 'Beverly Hills Cop II' and the tremendous reaction from the crowd outside, then going to a party… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better. — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
I just don't accept midgets as human beings. There's only so much political correctness I can accept. — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing. — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
