Baby Quote by Eugene Mirman Download Open image “Don't throw a baby at anything - even a burglar.” — Eugene Mirman ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.2 out of 5 (10 ratings) Copy quoteShare Baby Burglars
I don't think a baby is something that you should do because other people are doing it. — Andy Samberg Copy Share Image
There are a lot of people who got dropped as a baby, apparently you got thrown at a wall. — Nishan Panwar Copy Share Image
Babies are always more trouble than you thought and more wonderful. — Charles Osgood Copy Share Image
If I ever got abused as a infant I'd do some Chucky shit, grab a knife, and kill somebody. — Jenni Monroe Copy Share Image
I've had soccer moms come up and tell me they can relate when I say that I want to throw my baby in the… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
The truth is, for however much my stories come out of things that have happened to me, they're not darkly or as deeply personal… — Eugene Mirman Copy Share Image
I don't know what it would be like to actually play guitar. I've toured with a lot of comedians and it's never been like… — Eugene Mirman Copy Share Image
What do you think you should do if you're attacked by a bear? Play dead? No - that's a lie promoted by the bears. — Eugene Mirman Copy Share Image
People used to make fun of alternative comedy because sometimes it would be someone being funny, and sometimes it was a crazy man with… — Eugene Mirman Copy Share Image
One of the best things I found out about Detroit is that bears have started returning to the city. When bears are gentrifying your… — Eugene Mirman Copy Share Image
I don't have a kid, but I think that I would be a good father, especially if my baby liked to go out drinking. — Eugene Mirman Copy Share Image
“This book is a guide to living life the right way, like the Bible is for crazies and weak people (JK, bro), this book… — Eugene Mirman Copy Share Image
In this time of recession, it is the time for invention. Did you know both the telephone and the automobile were invented during recessions?… — Eugene Mirman Copy Share Image
Of course, to avoid getting stuck in that convo with someone you dislike or feel uncomfortable around, don't be passive, be proactive. Do not… — Eugene Mirman Copy Share Image
Imagine the wars we would've avoided if prior generations had a website where they could debate tragedy and politics in terse sentences? — Eugene Mirman Copy Share Image
For a short period of time, I was like, I have these jokes and if people get them, they get them. And then eventually,… — Eugene Mirman Copy Share Image
I would have done well as a gypsy child, I think. A circus baby. I coulda played a great street urchin or ragamuffin. Or… — Natasha Lyonne Copy Share Image
I didn't expect to be so comfortable handing my child off to a nanny without getting any of her information. As soon as she… — Ali Wong Copy Share Image
Parents who are stressed or disturbed will have more difficulty in meeting their children's needs. Parents who have little support--from friends, relatives, neighbors, or… — Sheila Kamerman Copy Share Image
Shhh.” He put a finger to her lips. “Hear me out. I cannot deny that I would've liked to have made babies with you.… — Elizabeth Hoyt Copy Share Image
Baby, I love you. We argue about the stupidest shit then we turn around and laugh about it. I'm obsessed with you and you're… — Lindsay Copy Share Image
My dad's Israeli. He was born in Baghdad to Iraqi Jews. Then, at age two, his parents wanted to move to their homeland and… — Elliott Yamin Copy Share Image
I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food. — Robert Orben Copy Share Image
Getting a burp out of your little thing when she needs it is probably the greatest satisfaction I've come across at this point in… — Brad Pitt Copy Share Image
A new study reveals that one-third of babies in the U.S. have used a smartphone. Yeah, and one-third of babies in China have MADE… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
