Wouldn't you like to weigh what it says on your driver's license? — Sam Ewing Drivers Copy Share Image
Success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it. — Sam Ewing Success Copy Share Image
When you feel neglected, think of the female salmon, who lays 3,000,000 eggs but no one remembers her on Mother's Day. — Sam Ewing Eggs Copy Share Image
Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf. — Sam Ewing Book Copy Share Image
The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to… — Sam Ewing Amount Copy Share Image
On the plains of hesitation bleach the bones of countless millions who, at the dawn of decision, sat down to wait, and… — Sam Ewing Bones Copy Share Image
The brain is like a TV set; when it goes blank, it's a good idea to turn off the sound. — Sam Ewing Blank Copy Share Image
I try to figure my adjusted gross income, but no matter how I figure it, it's still gross. — Sam Ewing Figures Copy Share Image
Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn't be done. — Sam Ewing Done Copy Share Image
Fashions come and fashions go, but pockets are usually the same. There's little change in them. — Sam Ewing Change Copy Share Image
Crime in the cities is very discouraging. Apartment house dwellers have locks, bolts, chains and bars on their doors. It takes a… — Sam Ewing Apartment Copy Share Image
A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're… — Sam Ewing Companion Copy Share Image
On every commercial flight, the traveler is told, "Your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device". The question is, why… — Sam Ewing Boat Copy Share Image
"Tell me, doctor, " said the patient, "when I stand on my head, the blood rushes to it. Why doesn't it rush… — Sam Ewing Blood Copy Share Image
Some people are much like blisters-they don't show up until the work is done. — Sam Ewing Blisters Copy Share Image
Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career. — Sam Ewing Asks Copy Share Image
An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame. — Sam Ewing Blame Copy Share Image
When you finally go back to your old hometown, you find it wasn't the old home you missed but your childhood — Sam Ewing Childhood Copy Share Image
We are all born into the world with nothing. Everything we acquire after that is profit. — Sam Ewing Acquire Copy Share Image
Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up… — Sam Ewing Character Copy Share Image
Parents who wonder where the younger generation is going should remember where it came from. — Sam Ewing Generation Copy Share Image
The fastest way to meet new people is to pick up somebody else's change at a cocktail bar. — Sam Ewing Change Copy Share Image
The sight of home looks best after you've traveled hundreds of miles to get away from it. — Sam Ewing Away Copy Share Image
Many trees could be saved if the government stopped printing tax forms. — Sam Ewing Form Copy Share Image
If you lend someone 20 dollars and never see that person again, it's probably worth it. — Sam Ewing Dollars Copy Share Image
In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to 'Until debt do us part'. — Sam Ewing Accurate Copy Share Image
Life begins as a quest of the child for the man, and ends as a journey by the man to rediscover the… — Sam Ewing Abundance Copy Share Image
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. — Sam Ewing Age Copy Share Image
President Herbert Hoover returned his salary to the government. His idea caught on, and now we're all doing it. — Sam Ewing Business Copy Share Image
When a husband says, "I run things in my home" he may mean the washing machine, the dishwasher and the vacuum cleaner. — Sam Ewing Cleaners Copy Share Image
A man can please his wife with a box of candy, surprise her with a bouquet of flowers, and make her suspicious… — Sam Ewing Bouquets Copy Share Image
Half of all home accidents happen in the kitchen, and the family has to eat them. — Sam Ewing Accidents Copy Share Image
It's not the hours you put in your work that counts, it's the work you put in the hours. — Sam Ewing Gymnastics Copy Share Image
A neighbor will stand at your door talking for 20 minutes because she doesn't have time to come in. — Sam Ewing Doors Copy Share Image
The trouble with giving advice is that others want to return the favor. — Sam Ewing Advice Copy Share Image
Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about. — Sam Ewing Arguing Copy Share Image
Success is when your name is in everything but the telephone directory. — Sam Ewing Inspirational Copy Share Image
Ever notice that nothing changes the color of paint like putting it on a wall? — Sam Ewing Color Copy Share Image
